Archive for the ‘spiritual growth’ Category
Learning to forgive.
Posted by appolus on February 15, 2024
Posted in bible, Christian, christian blog, christian living, church, Daily devotional, Devotions, healing, Jesus, revival, spiritual growth, the crucified life, the deeper life, the gospel, the persectuted church, The presence of God, the remnant | 3 Comments »
When the stroke hits the soul
Posted by appolus on February 3, 2024

When the stroke goes down to the soul
And the billows they begin to roll
When the lightening fractures the sky above
Shall we be found to be anchored in His glorious love?
When the ship is swamped and going under
And the rain so loud and the clashing thunder
Cause you to cry out and look up towards heaven
Shall we stand upon God and not be so driven?
Surely goodness and mercy despite our afflictions
Will follow us forever without contradiction
And a table before us, a feast for a King
Will cause our troubled hearts to sing
Of His majesty and glory and joy without measure
As we gaze upon His righteousness, His heavenly treasure
He maketh me lie down in pastures so green
And beside the still waters eternally serene.
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Blessings from the night.
Posted by appolus on January 31, 2024

It has been a night of grief, yet a night of blessing. A night in which there may have been many things which we would wish forgotten., yet many more which we should wish to be remembered for ever. Often during its gloom, we called it “wearisome,” and said “When shall I arise and the night be gone? (Job 7:) Yet how much was there to reconcile it, rather, to fill us with praise because of it! It was then the Lord drew near, and the world was displaced and self was smitten, and our will conquered, and faith grew speedily, and hope became brighter and more eager, and the things that are unseen were felt to be real and true. (H. Bonar)
Brothers and sisters, suffering draws us close unto the Lord. The long night of illness or trial draws us closely to the fires of heaven. We see with eyes that can peer through the night and give us sight to see our heavenly Jerusalem. The fading parchments of this life become somewhat crude in the light of heavenly fires. What comfort the children of Israel must have garnered as the fire by night nestled above them in the calm assurance of His presence. The cloud by day that would shelter them from the blazing desert heat. Our songs in the night give birth to sight. Out of darkness there comes a sure knowledge that He is with us. To not just follow Him closely along the narrow pilgrim way, but rather to walk hand in hand with Him and hear Him so sweetly that our hear burns within our chest……bro Frank
Posted in bible, Christian, christian blog, christian living, Christian quotes, Christianity, Daily devotional, Devotions, Jesus, revival, spiritual growth, testimony, the crucified life, the deeper life, the gospel, the persectuted church, The presence of God, the remnant | 1 Comment »
The crosses that He designs.
Posted by appolus on January 24, 2024

Sorrow leaves it's mark upon the soul
As the Lord shapes us and takes
back what the enemy stole
With an iron pen and
lead in the rock, it is written
The genuine work of God, His composition
He has written His word upon the heart
that He has given
And with many a blow, sin
from our soul is driven
Shall we not welcome the rod that can never miss?
And with a warm embrace, direct it with a kiss
We can count the cost, then embrace the cross
or lay it down and suffer the loss
Remember each one is crafted by His hand
And are designed so that no man can still stand
It's by His Blood and sorrow they were crafted
And they seal the wounds whereby we are grafted.
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An update on the cancer situation.
Posted by appolus on January 15, 2024
Posted in bible, cancer, christian living, Christian poetry, Christian quotes, Christianity, Daily devotional, Devotions, healing, Jesus, revival, spiritual growth, Spiritual warfare, testimony, the crucified life, the deeper life, the gospel, the persectuted church, The presence of God, the remnant, The State of the Chuch and Manifest presence, the state of the church | 4 Comments »
We must decrease!
Posted by appolus on January 1, 2024

Posted in bible, Christian, christian blog, christian living, Christian poetry, Christianity, Daily devotional, Devotions, faith, healing, Jesus, miracles, revival, spiritual gifts, spiritual growth, Spiritual warfare, testimony, the crucified life, the deeper life, the gospel, the persectuted church, The presence of God, the remnant, The State of the Chuch and Manifest presence, the state of the church, Uncategorized | 3 Comments »
The cup that overflows!
Posted by appolus on December 25, 2023

George Matheson, the great old, blind Scottish preacher once said, “The hour of thy loneliness will crown thee. The day of thy depression will regale thee. It is thy desert that will break forth into singing. It is the trees of thy silent forest that will clap their hands .. the thorns will be roses. The valleys will be hills. The crooked will be straight lines, the ruts will be level. The shadows will be shining. The losses will be promotions, and the tears will be tracks of gold. The cup of suffering you prayed would pass from you will be your constant royal crown in the sweet by and by.”
The Lord sees us. He knows us. He comforts us. His comfort is strength and joy where there should be none. And though darkness may press in on us from every side, His light triumphs over it. Even the darkness is light to Him, and then, of course, to us. When the landscapes of our lives seem to stretch out before us in endless deserts, suddenly even the sand cries out, and the very rocks cry out, glory, glory, glory to the Living God! When the silence floods in and we struggle to hear anything above its noise, suddenly, glory to God the silence is broken. Just one word from our Lord shatters the deafening silence and our hearts and spirits are filled with His majesty.
Sometimes the thorns of life invade our lives yet from these thorns come magnificent roses. I am reminded of the Lord’s crown, and yet truly, He was crowned in a higher place. He is King of Kings and Lord of Lords. Crown Him with many crowns, but first the crown of this life which was overcome. And now we overcome in Him. Paul once said that he considered the loss of all things as nothing, as less than nothing, for he only wanted to be found in Him. If our losses in this world lead us into the depths of Him, then we should surely be found praising Him in the midst of every situation. I praise Jesus today.
There is a cup in this life, and we are asked to take it, to take it all. Jesus led the way in the garden, and if He could take that cup, the cup that was filled with all the sin of this world and would lead to the death of the cross, then surely, in His power, and in His might, we can drink down the cup given to us. And in just one of the countless paradoxes in the Scriptures, we see that as we willingly drink this cup, there is another cup that simultaneously begins to fill and overflow………..Psa 23:5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies: anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
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Deep calls out to deep.
Posted by appolus on December 24, 2023
Deep calls unto deep
At the noise of your waterfalls
And in the daytime
Your loving-kindness calls
And when the nighttime comes
Your song shall be with me
And even in the darkness, I shall see.
To the Lord my Rock
I run beneath thy wings
And in the night watches
I listen to the angels sing
When darkness is all around
Send out Your light to me
Shackles are broken, and I am free
A very present help
Though the mighty waters roar
And mountains they fall down
Yet your Spirit helps restore
My troubled heart in times of need
Within my chest it surely leaps
As the deep within my soul calls out to Deep.
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Hear my cry O Lord and bend the heavens.
Posted by appolus on December 1, 2023

The very opening line from David in Psalm 18 is “I will love you O Lord…..my strength.” He is our strength at all times. His love for us and our love for Him creates the Kingdom of God in our hearts. It creates the atmosphere of heaven that surrounds us. It creates the light that shines forth from us to a dark world. In this particular psalm, David is writing about many years of trials and brokenness, years when he was hounded by Saul and surrounded by enemies. Years mind you. Not a day or a week or a season, but multiple years when, for all intents and purposes, he was not moving in victory. His enemies seemed to have the upper-hand. Now the question becomes “shall we be faithful yet.” Shall we still follow the Lord with all of our hearts even when our prayers are not answered? Even when we have been backed into a corner? There have been times with all the great saints of the Bible when for multiple seasons and multiple years nothing seems to be going right.
Abraham waited so very long, over twenty five years, for the child of promise to be born and with every passing year, at least in the natural, the promise became less likely. Did he stand? Jacob, on the run so to speak for multiple years, not fulfilling his destiny. Moses, all that time in the desert, having run from the Egyptians. Over and over again the story goes. Joseph and his dream, yet between the dream being fulfilled there lay ahead of him rejection and betrayal and slavery and imprisonment. And so here we are with David. Saul is dead, his most implacable enemy. God has delivered him after countless years of wilderness wanderings and betrayals and rejections and tests. And David begins His thanksgiving to God by highlighting his love for God and acknowledging His strength. He is the Lord His rock and his fortress and his deliverer. The God in whom, all through the dark days, the valleys and the caves, he trusted. God was his very shield, the horn of his salvation and his stronghold.
He called upon the Lord his God when the “pangs of death,” surrounded him. He called upon his great love when the “floods of ungodliness,” made him afraid. When the “sorrows of hell,” surrounded him and the “snares of death,” confronted him, he called upon God. In his distress he “cried out to God.” And time after time he got the breakthrough. Not necessarily from his circumstances, no, his breakthrough was “He heard my voice from his temple.” His cry had come before His Lord and even just in the knowing that God knew and saw his afflictions, there was victory in that alone and he was encouraged by living waters. How many times was Paul told not be afraid for the Lord his God was with him? The breakthrough in every situation is first and foremost to “know” that “God is with you.” Now some may say that we should always know that as His saints. I would just answer with saying that it is one thing to know something in our heads, it is quite another to recognize the manifest presence of a God who walks with His children.
Look at the response of God starting in the seventh verse, this is the response to David who was constantly crying out to the Lord His God. “Then the earth shook and trembled.” Not unlike what happened to Paul and Silas in the dungeon. A devouring fire came forth from the Lord and “He bowed the heavens and came down…………He rose upon the cherub……He flew upon the wings of the wind.” “He sent from above and He drew me out of many waters.” He saw the many situations of David and He moved on his behalf, this faithful man of God who ever cried out to Him. And in the end , after many many faithful years in the valley and in the cave, God himself delivered David from all his enemies, especially his greatest enemy, Saul. Shall He not also deliver us dear brothers and sisters? Shall He not hear our cries from the valley?
If you have been going through a long and arduous test or tests. If there seems to be no light at the end of your circumstances. If you have been surrounded by the pangs of death and great ungodliness and sorrow besets you on every side and the gates of hell themselves has come against you, keep crying out to God. He is your strength. He is the Rock upon which you stand. He is your fortress and you can run into Him. He is your deliverer and your strength in whom you can trust. He is worthy to be praised in the midnight hour. He sees the afflictions of His people. He knows, He cares, He is actively working on your behalf even when you are not aware of it. He ever intercedes for you before the throne and in truth, it is the reason you still stand. He prepares a table before you in the very presence of your enemies and in due time He shall bow the heavens and come down. He is faithful even in the midst of darkness and when we cannot see the way ahead, He is the way ahead brothers and sisters, cry out to Him today for He is your strength.
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Raging against the boundaries!
Posted by appolus on November 16, 2023

Speaking of man, Paul says in Act 17, to men on Mars hill, that God has determined their preappointed times and boundaries of their dwellings. That is really quite a mouthful. What does it mean? Can it be true that we have a preappointed time set for us by God? Can it be true that we have boundaries that God has set over us in regard to our “dwellings.” A boundary is a limitation or a line set. In our lives as saints we have boundaries that we are called to live within. And so, where we abide is limited to Gods determination for us and how long we live, likewise. And in this there should be great peace. Yet, for the most part, we find that our boundaries are the source of most of our anxiousness and discontentment.
Is it not true that we lay down boundaries for our children? We determine where they can go and the times in which they can carry out their activities. We set curfews for them and discipline them in order that they would know and respect their boundaries. We do it with a loving heart and a desire to see them grow up into the best adults they can be. It seems to be universally true that most children despise their boundaries and long to go where they cannot. They want what their friends have. They want to do what their friends do. And in this they clash with the will of their parents. It often referred to as a “battle of the wills,’ and frequently exhausts parents. Some parents seem to be better than others in these matters. Some are too strict and some are too lax and some put down no boundaries at all. The end result of this is the society we live in.
When you were saved dear saint, God imposed boundaries upon you. He gifted you and then called you to live within the boundaries of that gifting. He has predetermined the number of your days which also constitutes a boundary. Now, the question is, are we at peace within the boundaries that God has set for us? Or, do we rage against them? Do we go to great lengths to go beyond the boundary of our gifting? Do we take extreme measures to try and extend the boundaries of the days of our lives? Can I suggest to you that the work of the flesh, our flesh, is to deny the boundaries God has set for us. We try and go beyond our calling and are jealous of others for the same reason that Adam and Eve took what they were told not to take. It’s sin and rebellion. And in this sin and rebellion there can be no peace. Only when we surrender to the boundaries God has set for each of us personally can we truly know the peace that surpasses understanding.
In the world we saw, back in the 60s, women discontent with their lot, wanting to have what men had. They were discontent with their boundaries and therefore simply pushed beyond them. They raged against their boundary. No doubt they were cheered on by any number of voices telling them they could be whatever they wanted to be and that they had no limits. It has become a virtue of the world. People who are not happy with their gender are told that their gender is not a boundary and that they can be whatever they want to be. They rage against their boundary. Men desire their neighbors wife. they want what they cannot have and they rage against this boundary. People are told that they are going to die and they go to every conceivable lengths to avoid this. They rage against the boundaries of time. Saints not happy with the gifting God has given them, strive to be something they are not. This is raging against the will of God for our lives, it is all sin.
It is within the boundaries that God has laid down for us that we are to seek Him who desires to be found. It is within these boundaries that we are told “He is not far from each one of us.” To go beyond our boundaries is to wander far from God. It is in our nearness to God, that we “live and move and have our being.” We cannot shape our own destinies and then call it God’s destiny for us. God is not like gold or silver or stone, something that can be shaped by art or the devices of men. It is He who lays down the foundations. It is He who determines the place in which we shall live and it is He who determines the number of our days on this earth and it is He who has appointed a day in which He will judge the world by the Lord Jesus Christ. Note the words used by Paul “determines, appoints, sets, boundaries.” Our God is a God of order and He calls us to His order. And this order, this peace, this joy, this contentment can only ever be found when we are found living within the boundaries He has set down for each of us individually.
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What is ministry?
Posted by appolus on November 11, 2023

“Today I am going out and I am going to cast a shadow.” Imagine someone made that statement. Obviously we cannot cast our own shadow. The shadow comes from the fact that we are outside standing in the sun. For only by being in the right position at the right time and only by the presence of the sun itself could a shadow ever be cast. The power is not ours, the only power we have in this regard would be to put ourselves in a position where a shadow would be cast. The power comes from the sun and the very nature of God’s creation.
Can I put it to you that “ministry,” works by exactly the same principle. The problem with us is that we give something a name and it takes on a a whole other character. Ministry is not a thing, it’s a person, and its a person who resides within us by the power of the Holy Spirit and His name is Jesus. You cannot “do,’ ministry and you cannot “join,” a ministry. You can do works and join organizations, but none of that is necessarily Jesus working in us, and I would make an assertion that most of it is not. When we act according to our nature, the nature of Christ in us, then we are “ministering.” It’s merely the overflow of Christ in us to others.
No sun, no shadow, No Son, no ministry. If He is not at the beating heart of what we do, If He is not the one operating through the very gift He gave you for His very own purposes then we are merely indulging in what we think we should do. And what we think we should do is almost entirely wrong. We allow others to tell us what they think we should do. We allow others to identify “gifts,” in us that are no gifts at all but merely our human natures. For example, someone is a good musician “you must join the worship team.” Someone is naturally kind “you must join the care team.” Yet what we have in us by reason of our DNA and the environment we were raised in is not what should lead us and guide us.
The only thing that should lead us and guide us is what flows from our new nature. For the flesh is dying or should be. That cross that we take up is killing the flesh and leaving behind only that which is refined by the fire of God Himself. Out out of this refinement we find our place in the Kingdom of God. Out of this fire we walk in an entirely new direction. What flows from us to others only matters in the eternal things of God when it only comes from Him. In our own strengths and giftings we shall surely grow weary and tired and often discouraged. Yet when the Lord is flowing through us and we are moving in Him the very opposite thing happens. We run and we do not grow weary. We walk and we do not faint. We mount up with wings as eagles and leap tall mountains in Him and the world is shaken by this passion that flows from us.
And whether this passion takes the form of Evangelism or exhortation or healing of giving or speaking wisdom that casts down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, it will not be easily ignored or dismissed by the darkness. The shadow only takes the form of a very pale imitation of what is actually real. It’s the one whom the Sun shines upon that basks in the light and is warmed by it’s rays. The shadow is flat and without form and without power. We have been called to walk in the light as He is in the light and we shall have fellowship one with another. And when we walk with Jesus shall not our hearts burn within us? And shall not others benefit from this heat? That heat, that light, those rays are ministry and everything else is but the shadow.
Posted in bible, Christian, christian blog, christian living, Christianity, Daily devotional, Devotions, Jesus, revival, spiritual gifts, spiritual growth, Spiritual warfare, testimony, the crucified life, the deeper life, the gospel, the persectuted church, The presence of God, the remnant, The State of the Chuch and Manifest presence, the state of the church, Uncategorized | 16 Comments »
Cheap shallow faith.
Posted by appolus on November 8, 2023
It’s an erroneous idea that justification is an imparted robe of righteousness put over a dirty, filthy fellow who terribly needs a bath and is filled with cooties and the accumulation of the dirt of a lifetime, who stands boldly in God Almighty’s holy heaven, among seraphim and cherubim and archangels and the spirits of just men made perfect, and blithely and flippantly says “I belong in hell. I’m a filthy man, but what are you going to do about it? I have on me the robe of Christ’s righteousness and that’s enough.
God only saves sinners who know they are sinners. He saves only sinners who admit they are sinners, but He saves sinners and turns them from being sinners to being good men and full of the Holy Spirit. When we teach anything else, we are teaching heresy. John Newton was a Puritan and would have been horrified if he heard the doctrines we are hearing now. (A.W.Tozer The dangers of a shallow Faith pg 73-74)
Can you hear what Tozer is saying? He is identifying a teaching that has become a common doctrine taught across the board in Christendom. At best it’s a shallow faith, at worse it is no faith at all. A faith that is without transformation. A faith that seeks to hide from the fact that true faith transforms the bad man to a son of the Living God. A man who formally walked in darkness but who now walks in the light. A man whose righteousness in Christ and Christ in him reflects upon the unrighteousness of the world. A city set on a hill for all to see. He washes us by His very own Blood. And we are washed whiter than snow. We are indeed regenerated and only the regenerated can be sanctified.
In a desperate desire to please the world and not offend them, we have taken the stigma of sin from them. We have done the world no favors. Those of the shallow faith, born out of fear, say to the world that the Christian and them are both the same, the only difference being is that we have a technicality. That is a lie and, and Tozer calls it heresy. A cross-less Christianity has risen up in the ranks of Christendom and at the very same pace as it has risen up, the world has sunk down deeper into the mire of darkness and self delusion. A Christ-less Christianity, a whole generation of those who desire no Lord but only a Savior, is falling into the same dark pit of hell as the world is.
Thank the Lord for His own chosen generation. His own Royal Priesthood. His own, specific purchased people. A people intentionally called out of darkness, not to dwell there any more but to dwell in His marvelous light. A people who have indeed been regenerated, indeed been washed in the Blood of the Lamb, a people who fear God and not man. A people who have been empowered by the Holy Spirit to be a witness to the world and if need be, using the same word, a martyr for the cause of Christ. This is the true history of the Church. A people not ashamed of the Gospel of our Lord and Savior Jesus and not just the parts that are convenient to our own well being. Tell the world all day long that God loves them and the world will either like you or ignore you. Quote them the mostly unquoted portion of John chapter 3 and they will hate you.
Joh 3:18 He that believes in him is not condemned: but he that does not believe in Him is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.
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Blessed by fire.
Posted by appolus on October 18, 2023
Mar 9:49 For every one shall be seasoned with fire, and every sacrifice shall be salted with salt.
Every genuine saint shall be seasoned with fire. Now we know that we are called to be salt and light to the world and if the salt has lost its flavor, what is it good for? Its good for nothing. The fire for the saint is the seasoning of his or her life. Trials and tribulations and infirmities, this is promised to us all. How do we react under such circumstances? When the darkness comes to consume us, will it yet find the light? It is such an honor and a privilege to suffer well for the sake of Jesus. It speaks to the principalities and powers who watch your life. It testifies to the darkness. It proclaims to the spiritual wickedness in high places. The rulers of this world understand many things but they do not understand the man or the woman who has been so fully transformed that they praise God in the midst of suffering.
It is otherworldly. The Kingdom walk is no where better expressed than when we rejoice in our eternal life and the Kingdom to which we now belong. It is no better illustrated when we love our enemies and forgive those who hate us and despise us and would use us and destroy us. To count the fire as a flavoring rather than a destroyer is supernatural. It cannot be counterfeited. Many may rejoice when the “blessings,” abound. Many may give glory to God when all is going well. Yet it is the “few,” who fall to their knees amidst great loss, yet raise their hands towards heaven and cry out “blessed is the name of the Lord.” He who gives and He who takes away and He who flavors us with fire is to be praised. In the fire only the flesh is burned. In the fire only our worldly ambitions disappear. The wood and the hay and the stubble burn, but the treasures of darkness are purified and refined.
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Will you sink beneath the waves?
Posted by appolus on October 12, 2023

A few years ago as I was walking and praying, the Holy Spirit spoke to me a few words… “be careful about the condition of your heart, there is nothing more important.” That was it. I was left to ponder what had been spoken to me and all that it meant. So few words, so much meaning. Imagine being there when the Titanic was launched. What a magnificent sight that would have been. The worlds largest ship, a wonder of the world, stunningly beautiful in design, and filled with much opulence. This ship was built to ply the oceans of the world and power through tide and wave and storm. At its beating heart there were 29 huge boilers powered by 159 enormous furnaces. They had to be continually fed by coal, night and day. If the fires ever went out or ran low, then the engines would begin to falter. Without power, the ship, any ship, no matter how big, would be set adrift and helpless in the ocean. If a storm came along, it would sink, no matter how big it was or well built.
Christendom and all its many factions and sects is like a huge ship upon the ocean. No matter how big or impressive your church is, your denomination is, your particular “ministry,” is, without a fire at its heart it is just drifting and waiting for the storm that will take it down. We make the mistake of thinking that what we have or what we belong to could never sink, that it is too big or too impressive or too well built. I imagine those in Israel thought that about the Temple and Jerusalem. Yet if Christ does not dwell in the depths of our heart with the power of the Holy Spirit firing the furnace, then we are simply living on borrowed time. We may move about a ship that is not under power and seem that we are in no danger. Yet one storm or series of storms will simply turn us sideways and we will face the waves broadside and we shall begin to sway back and forward. One of these times the ship will go over, it will founder in the seas of this world that simply carry it along with its winds and tides and waves. Without power we cannot head into the storm, but will simply be tossed around by it. Without power we cannot steam into the waves and stay upright. Without power we can do nothing no matter how great the outward structure is.
Taking up our cross daily. Abiding in the Lord and His Word daily. Praying daily, hourly, minute by minute. Obeying the words and commands of Jesus. Drawing close to Jesus. Asking forgiveness from Jesus. Forgiving and humbling ourselves before others. All of this is stoking the fires of our heart and keeping its condition good. Not worrying about the things the “gentiles,” worry about. Not being anxious about the things of the world. Taking no thought about tomorrow but rather considering God and how He feeds the birds of the air and clothes the fields. Solomon, as the word says, was not arrayed with such glory. All of this and more is a shovel of coal in the furnace of our heart. It all begins with a baptism of fire brothers and sisters. It would do you no good to shovel coal into a furnace that it is not lit. This is the baptism of the Holy Spirit. It’s the fire of our heart and the power that propels us on through every obstacle no matter how strong or fierce. If we indeed have this fire, let it never be allowed to burn down to just embers. “Be careful bout the condition of your heart, there is nothing more important.”
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Honor your father.
Posted by appolus on September 5, 2023

This was a real challenge to me most of my Christian life. I had no problem honoring my mother, but my father was a whole other story. I could give you twenty substantial reasons why I should not have honored my father. And the world would say “awww,” and agree with me. Yet is it striking that when we are told to honor our fathers and mothers in Scripture there are no parenthesis. We do not find the word “if,” there. It simply states that we must “Honor your father and your mother: that your days may be long upon the land which the LORD your God gives you.”
For most of my Christian life I did not honor my earthly father in my heart. Oftentimes not just in my heart. I challenged him and spoke ill of him from time to time, all the time failing to honor him. It was mostly to my wife or friends or family. I had many good excuses but none that stood against the Word of God. My challenge was to love what I considered to be the unlovable. Is this not exactly what the Lord Jesus has called us to do? If we cannot do it with those closest to us, how can we ever do it with those in the world? How should I react to being hated? Does it make a difference that it is someone your heart longs to be loved by? In the end it only matters what the Lord has instructed us to do. How can we honor our Heavenly Father while we dishonor Him by ignoring His instructions.
And so, over the years before he died I wrote my dad three letters. Each of them falling on the sword. Each of them at the insistence of the Holy Spirit. As I wrote each letter, the flesh raged against it. It screamed “he should be writing you a letter, he should be falling on the sword.” This was because my flesh was not dead in these matters, it roared loudly. And yet, in my spirit, I recognized the flesh for what it was. My flesh longed for justification. My flesh longed to see my father suffer as he had made us suffer. My spirit on the other hand knew that I must be obedient to the Lord and that love and forgiveness was the way. In the writing of the letters I was killing the flesh and my heart was turning towards my father. After I wrote these letters I hated putting them in the envelope. Putting the stamps on them. And worse of all, putting them into the letterbox. Once it dropped down into the box there was no turning back.
I never expected any replies or even acknowledgment’s and none ever came. Yet I felt good in having done the right thing and just left it alone. “I had done my part.” One time as I was speaking to a dear brother he told me of an incident. There was a brother whom had fallen out with him a few years before. The Holy Spirit led him to go and knock on his door and make it right. It was at least a 20 minute drive away but off he went. He knocked on the door, sensing the brother was in, but got no reply. So, he got back in the car and began to drive home. He felt good that he had done the right thing. About half way back the Holy Spirit spoke to him just a few words.”You did not try very hard.” He was very convicted, turned the car around and went back to the door and kept knocking on it until finally the fella answered. He let him in and they “mended the fence.”
Upon hearing that story I was deeply convicted. I too had done the right thing and now the Holy Spirit was saying to me “you did not try very hard.” It was not spoken with any kind of animosity, but in that pure loving way that convicts you to the very depths of your heart. I knew what I had to do. I had to go home to Scotland for a visit and put flesh upon the letter which I had sent. Covid was raging at the time but I overcame all the obstacles and got home. I was able to treat my dad with kindness and pamper him a little, all of which he had a hard time with. Little did I know that when I left that visit two years ago, I would never see him again. It left me wondering about the depths of my flesh and why it had taken so long. How different it could have all been if I had just followed the Lord’s instruction and honored my father.
The Lord has since showed me just how much he loved my dad. Yes, he knew, of course, all of his faults but while he was yet in his sin he loved my dad and He died for him. He loved him all the more when my dad, at the age of 49, came to Him on bended knee. He loved him despite all of his problems of dying to his own flesh. He knew my dad better than anyone on the earth, faults and all, my dads own very rough upbringing, He knew him completely and He loved him still. Even when my dad was not faithful the Lord was faithful to him. And then the Lord showed me. I love you in the same way. I love all of my children in the same way despite their seeming lack of progress. Listen young men especially. If your dad is a Christian and you judge him harshly, if you fail to honor him, it is you who will pay a price. As much as lies within you, honor your father and your mother. Death to the flesh and life to the spirit. One is soaked in mercy, the other is eaten up by judgement. Starve the flesh.
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I was just looking for a river-why I left the Protestant church.
Posted by appolus on September 2, 2023

Just to be clear, when I say “Protestant,” I mean all of it, all denominations and non-denominations. Its not that I think that there are no genuine saints there, there are, in probably all of them. It is just that I was looking for a river to be carry me to the throne, to be engulfed in, and I found, for the most part, semi-dried up creeks. I was born and raised a Catholic in a mostly Irish Catholic community on the West Coast of Scotland. My whole education was Catholic, as it was for all working class Catholics, and it was free. One night my mother came home and announced that she had “found Jesus.” She was one of those “born-agains.” I was seven. My non-practicing alcoholic Catholic father was freaked out by it…… I was fascinated. They talked about God in chapel, but here was my wee mother claiming to actually know Him. I too longed to “know Him.” One thing was for sure, she was changed and she was bold.
All hell broke loose in our house. My father raged against my mother. He seemed to instinctively know that he was no longer “in charge,’ of her. There was something more important to her now than him. So he tried to beat Jesus out of her. In wild drunken nights he would rail against the Jesus that she believed in and that had changed her and won her over so completely. Black eyes and a broken jaw and nights where he almost killed her. And after fifteen years of this, at the age of forty nine, he got down on his knees and repented and gave his life over to the Jesus that he had assaulted and assailed so many times in his proxy war. He never drank again and my mum and dad retook their marriage vows and he was baptized. Such a huge thing for a man, already baptized as an infant who was raised by a staunch Catholic mother (my grannie)
So as you can see, I had saw the battle. I had saw how religion worked. I saw a genuine saint lay down her life for Jesus and be beaten black and blue for His sake. I had a ringside seat to the battle for a mans soul. So when I came to the Lord at the age of 26 I was ready to dive right in. I had only ever witnessed all or nothing. There was no middle ground in the battle of the ages. If I had metaphorically dived in I would have probably broken my neck as the church was only a few inches deep. Yet lets face it, when you had walked for almost two decades in the desert and came upon any kind of water at all, you would rejoice. Maybe not swim, but certainly rejoice. And those few shallow inches seemed so good. I saw other people come into the Pentecostal church from no church backgrounds and from dead denominational backgrounds and they all thought it was wonderful……..for a time.
There was multiple problems for me. I had such a great desire for genuine fellowship and discipleship. I wanted to be “a part,” of what was going on in the Body. Ushering and toilet cleaner or parking attendant was not exactly what I had in mind, yet for the most part, these were the “positions,’ available. Complain about that and you were simply proud. What I had in mind was what I had read about in the Bible. I had read the Word every day with a fierce thirst and hunger since coming to the Lord. As I read about the Body and every part having a function in 1 Cor 12 I wondered why we did not have such a Body. I left one Pentecostal non denominational church for another. I attended a Baptist church for a year. I went to a conservative Bible College. I went to Nazarene church for six months and I also attended IHOP (International house of prayer) for a year. Two of the aforementioned churches I stuck out for eight years and and seven years. I never found the river to swim in, only a trickle in the shadow of a dam (the dam being the Word and the manifest presence)
I saw patterns emerge in all of these churches I attended. In all of them the order of service was pretty much the same. There were variations but all within a popular theme. None of them allowed for the participation of the saints. All of them were tightly controlled by one man. This one man would appoint, for the most part, yes men for elders. In the end I had to think to myself “is this really different from the Catholic church?’ I know that will sound radical to some people, but in the end the Catholic church is all about authority and who wields it, certainly not the poor folks who sit in the pew. And what I had read in the Scriptures was not about authority at all, outside of Jesus and the Holy Spirit. And if Jesus and the Holy Spirit had told us that we were to gather in a certain fashion, I could not for the life of me figure out why this ultimate authority was ignored. I was looking for the river deep, that flowed from the very throne-room of heaven.
And so I left the “organized church,”which was a semi-dried up creek, looking for the freedom of the wild river. I had studied revivals and became involved in the revival ministry. This is where I met folks from all over the world who also had a longing to see, in essence, a 1 Cor 14 gathering where all of the members of the Body operated rather than one or two and the rest sat passively by until it was time to write a check or pull out their wallets. Think about it saints, why would we want to gather in any fashion other than that which the Lord lays down in His Word? Multiple centuries of tradition had transpired and conspired against the simplicity and authenticity of the earliest Church. Its the tragedy of the ages that the Body, with multiple parts, lies unused. Imagine a car without wheels, without gas, set up on blocks where people can only stare at it, for it has not the ability to fire up the engine or go anywhere. It becomes just a dusty heirloom, and we can only read about how it used to run.
I want to name some of my findings from my studies and experiences which may help to explain why there is a just a trickle in the creek as opposed to a mighty flowing river.
.1. The senior pastor. Not Biblical, a made up position.
2. The order of service, pretty much the same in any church. Not Biblical, man made.
3. The sermon that so dominates the “service.” Not Biblical, established by man.
4. The way we “break bread,” together. Not Biblical, established by man.
5. The clergy/laity divide. Not Biblical, established by man.
6. The church building. Not Biblical, established by man.
7. Ordination. Not Biblical, established by men.
8. Where is the “two or three prophets,’ who are to speak to us? (1 Cor 14:29)
10. Where are the two or three who would speak in tongues with interpretation? (1 Cor 14:27)
11. Where are the teachings (plural) and a psalm given or a portion of Scripture? (1 Cor 14:26)
12. Where are the Apostles, prophets, miracles and gifts of healing and varieties of tongues (plural) ( 1 Corinthians chapter 12:27,28)
I want to ask you brothers and sisters. Does the above describe your gathering? How can God bless something that is so far removed from what He Himself laid down in His Word? The church as we have known it is dying. It is devoid of power and passion, and passivity is the order of the day. Let Diotrephes speak and let the rest remain silent. And the rest are quite happy to dwell in a wilful ignorance. I say wilful ignorance because they can read the Word the same as you and me. They want their Moses to speak to God and for Moses to speak to them even if the mountain burst forth with earthquakes and trembling they would fall back from it.
Will you remain silent? Will you remain passive? Will you sit by and not even question the order of service you just sat through? Did that order of service resemble anything you have ever read in the Scriptures? Do you really even care? The Word of God says this is 1 Cor 12 starting at verse 7…..But the manifestation of the Spirit is given to each one for the profit of all. For to one is given the word of wisdom through the Spirit, to another the word of knowledge through the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by the same Spirit, to another the working of miracles, to another prophecies, to another discerning of spirits, to another different kinds of tongues, to another the interpretation of tongues. But one and the same Spirit work all these things, distributing to each one individually as He wills.
Do you see the richness and the depth of what has just been described. Now brothers and sisters, that is a river to swim in. That is no dried up creek. “The manifestation of the Spirit,” starts out the verse. When was the last time the Spirit of God manifested Himself among your gathering, your church, your denomination? I’m not talking about hearing a great sermon from a professional or being delighted with the professional music, I am talking about the manifestation of the Spirit. Notice that every part is “given,” by the Holy Spirit for the edification of all. These Scriptures are describing a masterful orchestra directed by the Holy Spirit Himself. Each part intimately conducted and carried out by the Conductor. It is no one man band, it is no mere trickle in a creek, but rather it is a symphony written by God Himself and it floods our souls and overwhelms our spirits and changes us as it takes us to where it wants to take us. No mere mortal can control it. Do you want to be part of the orchestra or do you want to sit by passively and listen to the tune of a one man band that entertains you for a moment?
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Experiencing the manifest grace of God
Posted by appolus on August 29, 2023

Col 1:6 Which has come to you, as it is in all the world; and bringing forth fruit, as it is also in you, since the day you heard of it, and knew the grace of God in truth:
What had come to them? Faith. Since the day they trusted in God they abounded in grace and in truth and in love. Note that they did not just “hear,” the good news. Many hear the good news. They chose to trust in it and in that moment they “knew,” the grace of God. Hearing and knowing are entirely different. It’s in the “knowing,” that we are transformed. It’s in the knowing that that we experience the manifest reality of His grace. This grace, this unmerited favor that we “know,” we have, changes us from the inside out. So, what is this mysterious “knowing,’ that does not flow from the head but rather from the heart? It is the presence of God that has taken up residence in our hearts and from that place all good things flow.
Imagine a stone thrown into a pond. Concentric circles emanate out until every part of that pond is touched by them. Small unstoppable waves that touch every part of who we are. There is a still, small voice that dwells within the heart of the truly born again that speaks to us and we know “its,’ voice. It is the voice of the Master who has taken up residence in us by the power of the Holy Spirit. He speaks to every part of who we are. He leaves no stone un-turned for He bought us with a price. He purchased us and we now belong to Him.
In Matthew 1:25 we are told that Joseph did not “know,” Mary until after Jesus was born. This prolonged primary verb is to know intimately. The text gives us the context. There is of course a more intimate knowledge to be had with the Lord than there could ever be with a spouse. One is carnal in nature and creates a oneness in the flesh and soul. The other is the combining of two spirits, our spirit with Jesus by the power of the Holy Spirit. This is the source of everything. It is from this place that we are devastated if we sin. It is from this place that “know,” His grace and His love and His mercy and His forgiveness. From here comes all good desires. The desire to follow Him. The desire to want to come into His manifest presence. From this place He opens up a door that leads to heavens throne room where we can come before the throne of God and cry “Abba.”
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Bid me come to thee
Posted by appolus on August 18, 2023

Mat 14:28 And Peter answered him and said, Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water.
Peter sees Jesus walking on the water in the midst of the great storm. Jesus says to them that are on the boat to “be of good cheer, for it is I, do not be afraid.” Just seeing Jesus put their minds at ease. Our hearts are at peace when we “know” that Jesus sees our afflictions. And yet we see Peter, caught up in the presence of God. It is not good enough that he sees him from a distance, he wants to be right where He is, no matter the circumstance, and he is taken up by the Lord’s presence. In the Lord’s presence, when we are captivated by Him, then the roar of the wind dies down. The tumultuous waves that were otherwise so terrifying, cease to present any threat in the manifest presence of God. Nature itself loses all of its power as the water loses its ability to swallow whole those who stand with Jesus.
And we see what happens when Peter takes His eyes off Jesus. Immediately the noise of his present circumstances comes roaring back and would have been deafening. The waves would rise up and reach out to take him under to his watery grave. Nature comes back into its own and Peter begins to sink. Yet Jesus. He is still there even when we have momentarily lost our focus and our faith. He will not let us drown. He is faithful even when we are not. He will catch us. He will come into our boat and suddenly the storm is completely gone. And then all who witnessed this fell down before Jesus and worshiped Him. Brothers and sisters, we are called to come to Jesus. Oftentimes we are so tempted to “batten down the hatches,” yet in many cases this just delays the inevitable sinking of the ship in the great storms of life.
We must come to Jesus and follow Him. Whether out of the boat into the teeth of the storm, or out of the storm back into the boat. Where He is there is peace whether in the eye of the storm or the stilled storm. It is all the same. He is our peace. Where He is there is glory and all things are possible. Perfect peace casts out all fear and only in Jesus can we stand, whether that is upon solid ground or on the water. Let the whole world shake. Let the mountains begin to crumble. Let the seas rise up and roar. Let the skies fall down and the stars fall from the heavens. He still rules and He still reigns. No matter what you are facing today saints, He still reigns sovereign over all that exists. Look to Jesus today. Step out of the boat. Or reach out and take His hand. Or follow Him back into the boat. Wherever He goes, let us follow Him to the ends of the earth and to the gates of eternity. He shall lead us home.
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O foolish Christians!
Posted by appolus on August 11, 2023
Gal 3:1 O foolish Galatians, who hath bewitched you,
Are we modern day Christians really any different from our Galatians brothers and sisters of old? Paul says to the Galatians that they have fallen from Grace, those who desire to be under anything other than the Gospel that he himself had presented to them, but now he was an enemy to them for telling them the truth. This word “bewitched,” means to be “fascinated by a false presentation.” In the Galatians case it was the law they were fascinated with and men, who should have known better, who seem to be something in Christian circles from Jerusalem, had enticed them away from the truth, away from the Spirit and away from freedom. A fall from grace is a tragedy for it is by grace through faith that we are saved and not of works, including the works of the law, less we should boast and then the free gift is not free indeed but rather debt.
We have so many in our day who are “fascinated by a false presentation.” Consider the Charismatics and their prosperity gospel? How about men like Benny Hinn with a singular obsession with healings? MacArthur and his denial of the sign gifts of the Spirit? Catholics and every other denomination who are fascinated by their own dogmas and decrees which are quite apart from Scriptures. One man rodeo shows in the non denominational systems who promote themselves. What is the one thing they all have in common with each other and the Galatians? “They zealously court you, but not for good; yes, they want to exclude you, that you may be zealous for them.”(Gal 4:17) Think about the horror of that statement. Men and systems of men set up to promote themselves and in doing so, exclude those who follow them from entering into the freedom that Christ brought for them. It was for freedom that Christ set us free. It is for bondage that men would have you zealous for them and their systems that elevate them. Jesus has been usurped.
Who is hindering you from following the Word? This is not from God. Who elevates themselves rather than the Lord Jesus Christ and the Word of God and the Holy Spirit. In the third epistle of John he writes to “the church,” in Asia Minor. He runs headlong into a man called Diotrephes. A man who had zeaously courted the church in that region to elevate himself. A man who loved the preeminence and just like Paul, John had become their enemy because he spoke the truth. Yet there were still men like Gaius and Demetrius. Good men. Men who followed after Jesus and who “walked in the truth.” There are good men and women today who still walk in the truth. God has His remnant. They are few and far between. And there are is a scourge of men like Diotrephes who would hinder you from walking according to the truth because when we do that, Jesus, and only Jesus is elevated.
There is an inevitable clash between God’s people and men who promote themselves. John would clash with Diotrephes if he traveled there. Paul clashed with the Christian religious men of his day, and even with Paul and Barnabas over what was right and what would cause men to fall from grace. If one were in MacArthur’s church and criticized him openly, the same fate would befall them as those who criticized Diotrephes. They would be removed from the church, with violence if need be. To criticize the Catholic church over 1500 years would cause one to be excommunicated and most likely burned at the stake. To criticize the reformers would have resulted in certain banishment and oftentimes imprisonment and burnings too. It is the mark of insecure men who have set up their own systems in direct violation of God’s Word and the leading of the Holy Spirit.
And then of course there is the genuine Body of Christ to be found everywhere. Oftentimes isolated perhaps. Lonely and without a church home to call their own, but always part of the Body of Christ and the family of God. Sons and daughters scattered to the four winds but not abandoned. Faithful to the Word of God and the leading of the Spirit. Illuminated by the light of Christ and the freedom that dwells within them. At liberty to speak the truth in love despite the consequences. Seeking no office and seeking no titles. Only willing to wash the feet of their brothers and sisters and feed them spiritually. Discipling everywhere they go whether to the one or the two or the two hundred. The number is not important. I encourage you this day my brothers and sisters. Stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made you free and do not be entangled by the religious systems of men which causes you to become entangled by a yoke of bondage.
Walk in and according to the Spirit and men shall know you by the fruit of the Spirit. Love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, gentlesness, and self control. They shall also know you by your fierce loyalty to the Lord and to the Gospel of the Kingdom and to the Word of God. Live in the Spirit and walk in the Spirit and you shall avoid jealousies pride and envy. Those who sow these things shall reap everlasting life. We shall run and not grow weary, we shall walk and not faint. We shall not lose heart when we pay due attention to the condition of our heart and walk in the aforementioned fruit of the Spirit. Love the Body of Christ with a lavish and reckless love. Let us boast in nothing other than the cross of the Lord Jesus Christ and the cross upon our own backs. Let us rejoice in infirmities that God may be glorified by the excess grace He pours upon us. The world has been crucified to us, it no longer courts us. We have been crucified to the world and we no longer have any taste for its pleasures. Let the peace and the mercy and grace of God fall apon the genuine saints today and let all who read this be encouraged.
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Joy in suffering?
Posted by appolus on August 6, 2023
A dear sister in the Lord asked this question in a private message. My answer is below.How would you answer her question?………………..
Dear brother Frank. May I ask a question from your experience, please? (I need to sort it out with myself, by Him.) Is “JOY IN AFFLICTION” (affliction by heartache which seems to me to be with me at my old age to my end here) Is the joy an ‘outflow’ of our security and contentment in THE TRUE LOVE PEACE AND PRESENCE AND INHERITANCE IN HIM. Or is it something that comes ‘naturally’ by The Spirit …an anointing of His Spirit, amidst the affliction of broken-heartedness and loss, failure in close relationships? Or is joy an action of the will? Please could you share some Wisdom or advice with me. Thank you! ![]()
The short answer sister, its all three, or a combination of the three and any of them individually depending upon the circumstances. I believe first and foremost it is founded upon our freedom to respond. We will not automatically respond with joy in afflictions and loss and failures or when our hearts have been broken. It depends who and what we have run to in the past, who we run to in the here and now. Do we tend to run to the world? Run to our brothers and sisters? Run to the pastor or folks in the church? If we do, we will suffer longer. When the Lord Jesus has been our high tower in all things and we run to Him then we shall know joy in the midst of these situations. Joy because we know that despite all of our dire circumstances, the Lord is with us in the midst of it. The Hebrew children were sustained in the fire by the the Lord Himself who was in the fire with them.
We know that the Lord suffered and we shall suffer to. We know that we have been called to suffer and those who suffer with Christ for His sake shall rule and reign with Him eternally. We know, we who are of the Spirit, something of what the Lord suffered for us on Calvary and how much God the Father suffered to see such things. And because we “know,’ such things we know that we could never suffer as our Lord suffered. This brings us peace. What joy for the disciples, almost drowned at seas, to see the Lord come walking on the water towards them. What joy Paul and Silas found in the depths of a dungeon, beaten and broken for His sake because the one they were intimate with was with them. Out of His presence rang the praises of God and down came the power and shook the whole building. And even if they did not sense His presence initially, as they began to praise Him, despite their circumstances. the presence of God flooded the darkened chamber. Oftentimes the darkened chambers of our hearts, darkened by loss and persecution, are flooded with the light of Christ and joy comes.
There is also an element of endurance and overcoming involved in those who suffer for the Lord’s sake. If joy came forth immediately or if the presence of God came down powerfully every time we suffered then we would all want to suffer. Yet it is to those who endure and overcome are all the promises given. Weeping may endure for a night or a season but “joy comes in the morning.”Will we “endure the night?” The Hebrew children were willing to go into the flames because of their love of God and were sure God would save them “but,” if He would not save their lives in the fire they were still not going to bow down to the gods of this world. It was not about deliverance, it was about the fact that even in the presence of our enemies who hate us, God prepares a table before us. Jesus prepared a place for us and gave the Holy Spirit that we might run to that place in times of need.
Every good soldier must be willing to die or to be maimed in the battle. We know this, the the Lord Jesus will not leave us dying on the battle-field. He will ride though the fire and through the flood of the enemy to take us up upon His horse and deliver us. At the very heart of the matter lies this from a blameless man whom God loved. “The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, blessed be the name of the Lord. He is our joy. He is our peace. He is our everything and though though the whole world hates us and though we suffer the loss of all things we shall never suffer the loss of Jesus and the more we know that, the more joy that we have in every situation. We learn to be content.
Posted in bible, Christian, christian blog, christian living, Christianity, Daily devotional, Devotions, Jesus, revival, spiritual growth, testimony, the crucified life, the deeper life, the gospel, the persectuted church, The presence of God, the remnant, The State of the Chuch and Manifest presence, the state of the church, theology, Uncategorized | 5 Comments »
