What does it mean to be delivered? What does it look like for God to take full possession of us? Did He not purchase us? Did He not redeem us? He surely did and He will have all of us. One Wednesday night many many years ago at a church I used to attend, I was ministering to a young man in his 20s. He had been in the army. As I prayed for him I heard myself telling him that this was a battle. He had to fight his way to the very center of all of the madness and take this flag that had been planted in the depths of his heart and break it over his knee. “This is what victory looks like to you,” I told him. As I was driving home the Holy Spirit spoke to me very clearly clearly. “That was a good prayer…. how about you?……what about your battle?” And in that way that only God can do, I heard Him speak without speaking. I had a flag planted in the depths of my heart. It was planted there when I was a child. The devil himself, through my earthly father had planted a flag in my heart and it denoted ownership. There was a part of my heart that I could not have articulated to you. Oh I knew I had anger. I knew there was rage in me still, even after coming to the Lord, but it was buried deep. It would come out in flashes and would shock me.
As I continued driving home in the midst of this revelation, the Holy Spirit told me to go home, go to the basement where my father would be, he was visiting from Scotland. Turn of the television and look him right in the eyes and say to him “I am going to tell you something and I do not want you to interrupt me. I love you dad. As far as I am concerned there is no past between us, there is only now and I forgive you.” And when the Holy Spirit was finished speaking to me I was totally horrified. There was an inner scream in me. I was supposed to say this to the man who crushed my heart and broke my spirit? I would rather be roasted over hot coals. Its not that I did not want to say it to him, its that I simply could not. That was a bridge too far. And in my thoughts I screamed “I could never do this.” And immediately, the Holy Spirit very firmly said to me, out of my own mouth no less, in a way that could not be argued with “yes you can.” And so I drove home, trembling. Fear rose up in me. A fear I had not felt since I was a child dealing with the rage of a drunken father who hated God. I was literally drowning in my fear. There was no place to run and no place to hide. There was a flag planted in the depths of my heart and this very night God was going to tear it down.
I arrived home. I asked my wife where my dad was. I was half hoping he was not in the basement. Maybe I could convince myself it was not God that spoke. “He’s in the basement watching TV. ” I approached the stairs like a man walking towards his own funeral. Thoughts and memories rushing through my mind, memories I had suppressed all of my adult life. With every stair I went down I could hear the insults. “Fucking idiot.” Another stair, “You useless piece of shite.” Another stair “stick that fucking knife in me right now.” Another stair “go on you fucking poof.” I was descending back into a hell I had long since left behind. And there he was. And there I was. The man that had crushed my heart and broken my spirit and robbed me of my childhood, and had never been confronted in any way. The giant that ruled over my childhood land with ruthless domination. All of a sudden, there I was, speaking word for word what the Holy Spirit had told me to say. And the flag was uprooted and broken in two. The stronghold fell. I hugged my father and wept on his shoulder. And when it was over it was over. I would like to tell you that it had a fairy tale ending. That we had this marvelous relationship after that. We did not. Yet, the power had been broken. The work had been done. Listen brothers, listen sisters. God wants all of you. He knows the very depths of your heart. He knows you better than you know yourself. He will do a work in you. He will take what is His. He will shape you and mold you. Never fight it. God bless you in your journey.
Fill me till I thirst no more
With living waters from above
Fill me till I overflow
And it manifests itself in love
Fill me with abundance Lord
That fills my very soul
Fill the deepest parts of me
And in the filling I'll be whole
Fill me with your presence Lord
Till it flows from the depths of me
Fill me with waters from above
That would fill the deepest sea
Fill me with Your glory Lord
For it surely fills the temple
Fill me with your power Lord
That keeps me strong but gentle
Fill me with Your Light O Lord
Burning brighter than the sun
Remind me of Your victory Lord
That on Calvary was sorely won
Fill me with eternal life
So I'll walk the narrow way
That leads to my celestial home
Where I'll forever stay
A long time ago, I remember flying into Glasgow Airport. Now Scotland is a country that spends a significant amount of the year under cloud cover. Yet here I was, above all the clouds, in a perpetually blue sky, about to descend into and below not just dark clouds but a storm system.
It suddenly struck me that no matter what kind of darkness or grayness or however driech ( good Scottish word for overcast) it was, or whatever storm was raging, that just above that storm or darkness was a perpetually blue sky. The answer was and always has been to come up higher. To rise up above every situation and come into and dwell in this perpetually blue sky.
It’s there in the deepest darkest valleys. It’s there when there seems to be no light and no way ahead. It’s there, it’s there, He’s there, He’s always there and He has given His children wings that they may fly through the gross darkness into His marvelous light. Wings strong enough to fly through the fiercest storms.
Spiritual wings that elevate us from even the deepest of dungeons that can create a way through the darkness. That can disrupt that very darkness with the turbulence of His holiness that pierces the darkness and causes light to fall to earth so that they who dwell in that very darkness can see this great light. The beauty of His holiness in mortal men. A beauty that points to immortality and the eternal. A beauty that penetrates the impenetrable light of God Himself.
2Co 12:9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
How many people that you know, glory in their infirmities? This chapter of 2 Corinthians highlights the difference between the one who boasts in order to elevate themselves, and the other who boasts in their weaknesses so that Christ might be elevated. There is a great chasm between the two camps. We see clearly in 2 Cor 12 that the power of Christ is manifested not by dreams or visions or even out of body experiences to places such as ” the third heaven, but rather the power of Christ is manifested in his humbled servants who can see and are not ashamed of their infirmities. Now why would this be? Surely the fantastic element of the supernatural would draw people? Yes indeed it does, but not to Christ. It draws them to the one who “boasts,” of them. Paul’s greatest desire is that the power of Christ may rest upon him and that all men would be drawn towards Jesus, not himself.
If you are looking for the difference between a true shepherd of Christ, or a hireling, listen to what they say. Many elevate themselves by telling stories of spiritual “adventures.” They want to show you how important they are in spiritual matters and will boast, over and over again, about these matters. Paul does the opposite. Listen to what he says that he takes pleasure in for Christ’s sake.1. Infirmities. 2. Reproaches. 3. Needs. 4. Persecutions. 5. distresses. He has fully grasped the tremendous spiritual truth that when we are weak then He is strong. The power of Christ rests upon those who understand that His grace is sufficient for us and His strength in us is “made perfect” by our weakness. The name it and claim it folks, the prosperity people cannot understand this. To them, healing is everything because in the end it is all about them. They desperately want the healing and their very lives are a denial of the sufficiency of God’s grace.The hirelings they follow desperately want any healing so that they can boast in that and elevate themselves.
Consider Paul and Silas in the dungeon. Were they not weak? Were they not reproached? Were they not persecuted? Were they not in distress? Yes indeed and so much more. Yet, incredibly, Paul says that he takes pleasure in these things. And this very incident in the dungeon proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that Gods word through Paul was more than just words. He lived this life. The power of Christ did rest upon him for this very reason. And this in no way inhibited the supernatural power of God, quite the opposite. It is from a place of glorifying God, whether we live or whether we die, that His perfect strength is demonstrated in us. Why do we see so few miracles? Because we do not embrace the sufficiency of His grace. We, self, must have what we want, what we consider we need. Our very lives seem to be all important when in actual fact all that is important is the glory of God. It’s in this glory that God operates. Brothers and sisters, when we can glorify God in our infirmities (The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, blessed be the name of the Lord) then we can manifest His perfect strength through us and show the world what it truly means to walk in the all sufficient grace of God as His power rests upon us.
I very rarely give the premise of a poem. Poems should speak for themselves. Poems can say a thousand different things to a thousand different people. A poet reaches into his heart and speaks of what he knows and presents a piece of his heart to others. What is common to him is common to humanity. When he expresses this, it touches others for they recognize that joy and pain and even agony that is common to all of us to one degree or another. Yet I would like to say a few words about this poem that I have written. It is my testimony of being saved. It is where I was. I had come out of my childhood a thoroughly broken human being. And long before my 21st birthday I had buried a son, been homeless, held my second son in my arms who had just been burned over 60% of his body with third degree burns, and suddenly I was gone. I had slipped away beneath the darkness. Into the depths of wrecked humanity. I “knew,” I would not leave this place.
And it was this “knowing,” that was the atmosphere of my own personal hell. It is impossible to convey this place of lost souls. I had walked out of the fire of my childhood and onto broken glass. And suddenly the mind is overwhelmed and you slip away. And so the poem describes a shaft of light that doggedly pursued me. I knew it was there, I ran from it. It was, of course, my Jesus. And he pursued me to the gates of hell. I cannot really describe my encounter with Him. It was an agony, for I could see myself. I, who would have destroyed every mirror in the world had to face what I had become in the incredible light of Christ. And right there I wanted Jesus to look away from me, I did not want this magnificent majestic perfect beauty of Holiness to look on something so deformed by sin. And yet He looked, despite my sin. “I love you.” And in a single moment, I was free. And so, the poem is about my journey to the light. If you know someone who is lost in the depths of darkness, maybe you could share this with them. There is but a single hope in Christ.
If my heart cries out, Lord will you hear me?
If I come to you, Lord will you see me?
What could be worse than the darkness where I stand?
To reach out through the darkness and discover there's no hand
The greater terror than the darkness of the night
Is to consider the possibility that there really is no light
To be so consumed by darkness that there is no way ahead
Is to walk in lockstep with the lost, to walk with the walking dead
Yet all along there was but a single shaft of light
That followed through the fire and was with me in the night
I ran and ran and ran from this but yet it followed me
Even to the ends of the earth and to the depths of the bottomless sea.
I had taken the wings of the morning and fled into the night
I had plunged to the very gates of hell, yet it kept me in its sight
Even in this darkness it still was light to me
I could sense that somewhere in this light I could yet be free
And so with trembling agony I stumbled to the light
I had ran with the forces of chaos and now I had no fight
So my heart cried out to Jesus "Is it true can I be free."
And in a single moment He was standing there with me.
And oh what an agony to to be this near to Him
I could see my lost humanity, that I was drowning in my sin.
And with my very last breath, He had indeed heard me
The light had come to take me home, the light had set me free.
2Co 1:8 For we would not, brethren, have you ignorant of our trouble which came to us in Asia, that we were burdened beyond measure, above strength, so that we despaired even of life:
It is quite astonishing to see the transparency of Paul here. How many leaders would acknowledge such a depth of despair, even of life itself? How many saints would acknowledge this to each other? Especially men. Most of us are raised to be strong and to keep our innermost thoughts to ourselves, but here is Paul laying out his heart, his fears, his insecurities for everyone to read. And yet even in this he is teaching, he is becoming all things to all men so that he may comfort them. We cannot truly comfort others unless we can be honest and transparent. Once someone realizes that you have walked through the same fire as they have , they sit up and take notice. Paul assures us that his hope for you is steadfast because he knows that as you enter into the sufferings for Christ sake, you shall also enter into the consolation of Christ.
And how glorious is that consolation! Just to be known by Him, just to know that He knows what you are going through. To know that He stands with you in the midst of it all, then we trust Him. And that trust is our strength. It is that trust in Him that sees us through the fires. It is that trust in Him that elevates us above the storm. It is that trust in Him that causes despair to flee and be replaced with a blessed hope. To see Him in the midst of it all is to live. We know that the One who delivered us from the world will deliver us still from all of our calamities. And when He does, we then comfort others, who are going through the dark valleys of life and who are suffering for the cause of Christ, with the same comfort we ourselves were comforted with.
The more we are broken, and by broken I mean having the hardness of our hearts exercised by God Himself, the more we have eyes to see the glory. Many men know about the concept of brokenness in their heads and they often, by their head knowledge, try to break themselves. This is the worse kind of religious man. The man or woman who has glimpsed the perfection of God, like the prophet Isaiah, is crushed by His own unworthiness yet simultaneously swallowed whole by the glory of the Perfect God. It is two sides to the one coin, the unholiness of man and the perfection of God that touches man as by fire. God’s man “sees,” something, the religious man has never seen. We see our own imperfections in the light of His glory and it crushes us. We must be crushed. For what emerges is true fellowship. If it was just dying, many of us would do OK. I’ve never really had any particular desire to live in this world after being saved. I thought these thoughts on dying were virtuous, but in the plain reality of heaven versus earth, it’s only common sense. Yet, “the death of the cross,” is something entirely different. To be scourged and then to kiss the rod. To be beaten and then to bless the hand from whom the injury came.To kiss the hand that wounds us is to kiss the hand of God. To be so totally dismantled that everything you thought about yourself evaporates. He scourges, He breaks, He dismantles. He remakes us so that we can sit down with Him and the lowly and the contrite in high and lofty places. This is the narrow walk and few there are that find it.
Isa 62:1………….I will not rest, until her righteousness goes forth as brightness, and her salvation as a lamp that burns.
The genuine saint cannot keep silent, they can never rest, day and night the fire of the Lord and His brightness burns inside the depths of him. In Jeremiah 20:9 we hear the prophet cry out “then I will not make mention of Him, nor speak anymore in His name……………but His Word was in my heart like a burning fire shut up in my bones, I was weary of holding it back and I could not.” In another place the Apostle Paul says “For if I preach the gospel I have nothing to boast of, for necessity is laid upon me, yes woe is me if I do not preach the gospel……..it would be better for me to die!” Can you see what passion drives these men who are filled with the Holy Spirit? There is a fire in their bones that flows from the furnace that is their broken hearts. Brothers and sisters, do we burn with such intensity? Do we have such a grand obsession that drives us and awakes us with the morning light, and yet still burns long after the sun has gone down?
Brothers and sisters were we not forsaken? Were we not lost and dead in our sins? Yet that which was forsaken is no longer forsaken. The hand of God holds the crown that He shall put upon our heads. We are a royal diadem in the hand of our God. And as the Bridegroom rejoices over the bride so does us our God rejoice over us. He has covered our nakedness with His righteousness, He has surrounded us with His glory and it fills our heart to overflowing, like a mighty waterfall of fire. Fire in the land and glory in the heavens. The earth is covered in His glory like the waters cover the sea. What ocean could contain Him? Is not just one chamber of His heart greater than the whole universe. Just one tear from His eye deeper than the deepest sea?
He heals our wounds, He tenderly touches our weary hearts. He feeds the deepest parts of us and sustains us for the journey. He restores the brokenhearted and gives strength to the weary. He gives us hope when there seems to be no hope. He gives us joy when there is nothing at all to be joyful about. He gives us a garment of praise and takes away a heavy spirit. He bids us to lift up our eyes and see the celestial city, from where our help comes from. Stay the course brothers and sisters. Stand fast in the time of our vexation. Our Lord is coming soon and our journey will be at an end.
Daniel said to me today “I miss you dad.” I knew what he meant. What he meant to say is that “I’m gonna miss you.” You see we are going out of town next week and this is one of the ways that Daniel conveys to you that he loves you. And so when he said that, I put the cups song on in which one of the lines goes “I’m gonna miss you when your gone.” We danced. He twirled, I twirled, we interlocked arms and danced in a circle in a Scottish fashion. And when the dancing was over we hugged. As I walked into the backyard afterwards, with the sun shining warmly thought the Locusts trees, and the birds watching me from their various perches,wondering if I was about to fill their feeder ( I was) my heart warmed to the thoughts of what a privilege it was for me to have Daniel. When we need someone to look after something that is very precious to us, we pick someone we know and love and trust. And as I was thanking God for entrusting me with something that was very precious to Him……I realized that my heart was full.
Daniel is my youngest son who is 29 and has Down Syndrome.
The woman with the alabaster flask in Luke’s account is possibly a prostitute. Her alabaster, being very expensive, undoubtedly was paid for by her “work.” It may even have been her life savings, her security, her future, all inside this jar which she would have clutched tightly to herself. Yet, in her encounter with Jesus, she breaks this jar open and pours out everything she has. Now, all her security, her past works, are laid at the feet of Jesus. In laying herself bare before Jesus, she finds forgiveness and enters into true intimacy and actual love, something she”s have been searching her whole life for. Those who are forgiven much, love much. Those who love this much are willing to sacrifice everything they have.
Isa 54:7 For a mere moment have I forsaken you; but with great mercies will I gather you.
There are times and seasons when it seems that we are forsaken. In our personal lives and our corporate lives of gathering, we seem forsaken and lost. In the midst of trials that seem like they will never come to an end. In the midst of a wicked world that only seems to grow more wicked every day, the sense of being alone may creep in. Lest we think we are above these thoughts consider the cry’s of Jesus from the cross. The remnant people of the Lord, scattered everywhere, often struggle mightily with these thoughts, you might be struggling with them even as you read this. God has His people and His eye is upon them. If His eye is upon the sparrow, how much more so is it on you dear saint? In the state where we are scattered and separated from Babylon, we must remember this “with great mercies I will gather you.”
We are the Bride of Christ and our Maker is our husband. We are the redeemed of the Lord and He has called us. In the midst of darkness and wrath He has hid His face for a moment. Did not He turn His face away from the Lord Jesus? Yet we know this, we are the recipients of everlasting kindness and His mercy is new every morning. The mountains may depart and the hills be removed but His kindness shall not depart from us, even if for a moment it is hidden. He recognizes our afflictions saints. He sees our troubles. O you afflicted one, tossed with tempest and not comforted (Isa 54:11) The Disciples were so tossed with tempest as they crossed over this treacherous body of water. Yet, they see a figure walking towards them on the water. In the midst of their calamity here comes Jesus. He bids Peter to arise and come join Him in the very heart of the storm. With eyes on Jesus, Peter walks upon the water and above the storm.
The remnant saints of the Lord Jesus, the Body of Christ, the Church may seem to be on the ropes as the gross darkness rises around the world and the gates of hell seemed to be loosed all about us. Troubles without, fears within, yet God. In righteousness you shall be established. God is creating a work that shall astonish the principalities and powers. This temple, this Body, this Church may not look like much and may seem to be on the ropes, but it is far from that, we are being molded in the eye of the storm. We shall arise on the wings of our Bridegroom. Our gates shall be of crystal and our walls of precious stones. And the pinnacles of our towers shall be made of rubies. The pearl of great price is the foundation of His Holy Temple, we are that temple of the Lord, built without human hands and no weapon formed against us shall prosper. Every tongue which rises against us in judgement shall find itself judged by the saints in that day. This is the heritage of the servants of God and their righteousness is Christ Himself.
Twenty eight years ago, just two years after being saved and six weeks after Daniel, our son with Down Syndrome was born, I began to have difficulty breathing. After the initial X-ray, it seemed likely I had lung cancer. I had been a heavy smoker from the age of fourteen until I got saved at twenty seven. Much of that had been smoking cannabis. The X-ray was followed up with a cat scan and then finally a lung biopsy. They discovered I had a disease called Sarcoidosis. It mainly effects African Americans in this country, I later discovered I had 5% African blood in my DNA.
Sarcoidosis can affect any of the organs in the body, and in my case it manifested itself as pulmonary fibrosis in my lungs. These fibrosis are irreversible and as they begin to build up in your lungs, your lung capacity is diminished until at some point you die. A third of my lungs already exhibited irreversible fibrosis. I was told by my Pulmonologist that I was stage three of a stage four disease. There was no cure. There was, however, a treatment that could prolong your life. Very high daily doses of prednisone. IN my case, 60 mg a daily.
As Christians we understand that the more we rely upon Jesus, the deeper our relationship is with Him. Dependence is the key to the depth of our spiritual life. We often see the martyrs testify of how their relationship with the Lord grew to greater depths in the dungeons of this world. When everything is stripped away, when we lose the ability to control our own lives, then we discover that Jesus is fully in charge. As the old adage says, we have to let go and let God. The letting go part is the battle, it is the refining fire, it is our sanctification.
After less than two weeks of taking the steroids, that still small voice spoke into my spirit. “Frank, come away with me, I am your life, I am your stillness, I am your peace when all around you is falling apart, trust in me….trust in me.” I knew exactly what the Lord was asking of me, asking mind you. I was to stop taking the pills. I was to trust in Him, I was to put my life fully into His hand. As you can imagine, the opposition to this was great. My son with Down syndrome was only a few months old and had life threatening issues that would require more than one surgery. My wife was devastated at this decision of mine. She was not a Christian. Yet even Christians did not agree with me and let it be known. The pulmonologist was very angry and told me bluntly that I would die and that it would not be a pleasant death.
Several weeks passed, and the many voices seemed to be right. My ability to breathe declined. It is imperative to note that the still small voice of the Lord made me no promises, my only command was to “trust ,” Him. A well known man of God from the last century said this “Lord, may I be an ox on the altar or an ox in the field.” None of is really know our purpose here in life, what we do know is that we have been called to bring honor to the name of Jesus, regardless of our situation. Whether we live or whether we die we have been called to glorify Him. The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord.
There will be times, in every Christians life, when the Lord will “make you lie down in green pastures.” You may think to yourself, what is so “Green Pastures,” about an incurable disease? I do not have the words to describe to you the place I found myself in. Enough to say that it was glorious. The warmth of the sun upon my face was indescribable. The blueness of the sky was glorious. The little sparrow sitting on the wall was altogether fascinating. I became super aware of things that I had routinely overlooked or had taken for granted. I was in this mysterious place called “under the shadow of His wing.” I had to rely upon God for every breath that I took and it took my spiritual breath away. I was not burning at the stake and singing psalms and spiritual songs, but I glimpsed into that realm.
The pulmonologist was part of a national study on this disease and had been taking X-rays of my lungs every two weeks, he wanted to chart my regression. He told me that this way, my decision would at least do some good. He was quite angry with me and never tried to hide it. One Monday morning, at 5.30am I was awoken by a call. It was my mother calling from four thousand miles away in Scotland. She apologized for calling so early, but she had been compelled by the Holy Spirit. She very simply stated “The Lord told me that He is going to heal you.” The Lord had instructed her to attend a certain prayer meeting the following night and have me held up in prayer. I find it significant that my mom was instructed to call and tell me beforehand. This was an act of faith, a “stepping out.”
As she spoke, I was overwhelmed by the Holy Spirit, I fell to my knees and in my spirit I knew that I was to be healed, I had no doubt whatsoever. I went for an x-ray two days later. The Doctor called me into his office, he seemed subdued. I had shared with him months before that I was putting my life in the hands of the Lord. He paused before flicking the lights on that would light up the X-ray and said words that i will never forget. “I do not know what you are going to call this.” He flicked the light on and pointed to my lungs, they were completely clear. Apparently the Lord does not know the meaning of the word ,”irreversible.”That was twenty eight years ago. Trusting God is the key to life. When glorifying Him becomes more important that anything else, including your own life, you will be propelled into new heights of glory.
When I tell people that I am going home to Scotland, many people say, innocently enough, things like "oh that must be really nice, I wish I was coming with you, you are so lucky." I usually just nod and smile. How can they know that Scotland to me, in great part, is the land of my lost childhood. The land where I buried my son, where I almost lost another. Some of the darkest years of my life were swallowed up by alcohol and drugs, lost in oblivion, in the land of my birth. And yet I do love it. I love the people. I love the mountains and the valleys and the river that ran through my valley, the River Clyde. It is emblazoned upon my mind. Here below is a poem I wrote which might give you a better understanding of what it means for me to "go home." I wrote it to the fallen pieces of my heart that I left behind so long ago. I am sure many Americans could relate to this, it would just be the their own small town, the place of their birth.
The battleground.
I'm now going back to the battleground
To see if the pieces of my heart can be found
I left them where they fell so many years ago
In the midst of a perpetual winter, underneath the falling snow
I want to gather them up and tell them where I've been
Of the sunshine that I've walked in and the glory I have seen
A land so far from this place, that dwells on higher ground
Far removed from the frozen land and from the battleground
And so to all the pieces that I had to leave behind
I have a brand new heart and a fully restored mind
Amidst the flame and fire of the battles long ago
Ive come to show you something of what it means to grow.
The heart that's cut to pieces and memories departed
He came to raise you up again and heal the brokenhearted
He'll take from all the ashes, and there beauty shall be found
Where once was broken pieces amidst the battleground.
Psa 51:6 Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom.
Part of wisdom is to know something of who you truly are. Not the way others see you or even the way you want to be seen by others but who you are in the depths of who you are. The outward appearance has no intrinsic value when it is detached from the inner reality. The only value it has is when it is reflective of the inner man. The distance between the two is the measure of our hypocrisy. We play the actor when the man that people see is not the man who truly is. They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and that is true enough in the world. In the Kingdom the only beauty that counts is what God sees when He looks at us. What does God see in you?
David says in psalm 51:6 that God “makes me to know wisdom.” He is referring to the his hidden life. The inner life, the life that God know better than you. Imagine that, the only way to truth in the inwards parts is that God would reveal your inner most being to yourself. What a brutal painful journey this can be to the yielded, to the broken and the contrite. And yet, only God can do this. In psalm 51 there is a series of things God does for the broken and the contrite. Verse 14 “deliver me.” Only God can deliver us from our guilt and desires to do it. Verse 12b “Uphold me.” Only God can hold us up when the weight of sin and guilt has weighed us down. Verse 12a “Restore to me.” Only God can restore us, only God can give us the joy that comes from His salvation. Verse 10 “Create in me.” Only God can create a clean heart. Only God can cleanse the hands of those who have sinned against Him and give them a steadfast spirit in the depths of who they are.
Verse 8 “Make me.” Only God can can heal the brokenness. A healing that produces joy and gladness, a gladness that causes us to once more radiate His holiness. Verse 7b “Wash me.” God alone can wash away with the filth of this world and our flesh. Verse 7a”Purge me.” God alone can bring about the elements of my cleansing. And in the end, when we see all of this, we know wisdom. We know God. We know Jesus. And in the knowing we know ourselves in the inward parts, the hidden parts, that are to be a delight to the Lord and a light to the world.
Psa 18:28 For thou wilt light my candle: the LORD my God will enlighten my darkness.
What a wonderful promise we see here. God will light our candle. He is speaking to His own. He is speaking to those who walk humbly before Him. Who honor His word in all that they do. Who are merciful and gracious and kind. To them, He will be merciful, gracious and kind. He will honor those who honor Him. He will bring light to our darkness by reviving out spirits. This tells me many things. It tells me that God’s people get discouraged. It tells me that their candle, metaphorically speaking, can go out. And when it does it causes the darkness to press in and surround them. And yet even then, when we sense that our candles have gone out, yet shall we still honor God. Even when the darkness presses in on us from every side, we shall never deny our God. Even when we do not hear from Him, we say in our hearts ” I will honor Him till the day I die even if I never hear from Him again.
This, brothers and sisters, is overcoming. This is enduring. This is our manifestation of our own love for God and it is not conditioned upon anything. We know in our hearts that we worship God, not for what He does for us or will do for us. Not because we desperately desire to be relieved or delivered from our circumstances. Not for any other reason other than He is worthy to be praised. If this is indeed your heart brothers and sister, He will come to you in the night watches and all of a sudden your candle is lit. Your lamp explodes into light and the darkness is held at bay. The way ahead becomes clear and you you put one step in from of another and you keep walking down the narrow path. It is He alone who arms us with strength. He alone is our Rock. He alone is a shield to us and His word is always proven true. We can stand upon it and it is a lamp unto our feet.
Lord, your right hand has held me. You have armed me with strength for the battle. You give me feet like the feet of a deer and you set me on high places. You lift my spirit from the depths of the valley and you raise me up above the darkness. The Lord lives! Blessed be the Rock! May your name be exalted in all the earth. If your candle has went out brother or sister, keep on walking in faith. Keep on honoring Him. Lift Him up, praise Him, be merciful to others. Love as you have been loved. He will light your candle and you will burn again. The way ahead that has been so obscured with darkness will give way as He lights up the darkness, for even the darkness is light to our God. You will find your way forward. God bless you on your journey today and be encouraged.
Hos 6:1 Come, and let us return unto the LORD: for he hath torn, and he will heal us; he hath smitten, and he will bind us up.
The same God that brings us to our knees, also raises us up. Oh that we had no need to be broken, no need to be smitten, yet in the depths of who we are we are fatally flawed. Adam in us. In the flesh we bear the sin of Adam, we stood guilty before a Holy God. Yet in us too was a light, a smoldering ember in the depths of who we are. It speaks of our guilt. When the wind of the Spirit blows upon this tiniest of embers, the God given conscience, then it bursts into flames. “You crucified the Christ,” Peter cries out as he spoke with the power of God. Men’s hearts were rent and their blindfolds fell to the ground as they gazed upon their crime and saw that their very own sin crucified Jesus. He bore their punishment.
Imagine this. You are driving down the road and you check your phone, or you text someone. And in that split second a child runs out and is run over and killed by your car. The child is dead, and you are guilty. There is no doubt about your guilt. You are racked with that guilt. You cannot think, you cannot concentrate, you cannot live. You come before the judge and you plead guilty and you desire that he throws the book at you for you know you deserve to be punished because you killed an innocent child. Nothing can deliver you from your agony. Now imagine another scenarios, your eyes are opened by the wind of the Spirit. You see that it is indeed your sin that killed a willing and innocent Jesus upon the cross. And why was He willing? To fulfill the will of the Father that He should suffer in your stead. And in the very midst of your guilt, you “know,” that despite this, He loves you. “What must I do,’ you cry out as you heart is ripped open and you are smote with the sure knowledge of your sure guilt and the agonizing realization of His love.
“Arise in repentance,” the Lord would say “and I shall give you life”. I will bind up your wounds and set you free from the captivity of this guilt. I will raise you up from death to life that you may live. For my going forth is established as the morning and I will come like the rain, the latter and the former rain. Brothers and sisters, this is how we were saved and this is how we shall live. He still tears and He still heals. He molds us in the fires of sanctification. He scourges all those that He loves and the flesh is burned up in the fires and in this He raises us up in Holiness. Who may abide the day of his coming? and who shall stand when he appeareth? for he is like a refiner’s fire, and like fullers’ soap (Mal 3:2) He purifies His sons and daughters and purges them like gold and silver. Come brothers and sisters, let us return to the Lord.
In every trial there comes a moment when we lose sight of the bigger picture. We believe that we have blown it. We believe that we have chased God away and now we feel forsaken and alone. Even our Lord Jesus cries out from the cross in a moment of despair “My God, My God why has thou forsaken me.” Scripture tells us that just before this a great darkness had come across the land from the sixth hour until the ninth hour. Three full hours of what I can only assume was a satanic darkness. A gross satanic darkness had covered the land when the Father gave His Son over into the hands of His enemies. Sometimes, we can feel consumed by the darkness around us and in the midst of certain situations.
Some time later the Lord Jesus speaks His final words from the cross “Father, into thy hands I commit my spirit.” Now He was referring to His Father, a much more intimate term than God. Praise the Lord. He had went from a time of despair to a time of intimacy. And with His last breath He committed His Spirit into the hands of His Father. The answer always lies in the hands of our Father. In Psalm 31:5 we see that David makes the same cry. He is surrounded by enemies. He said that he would rest in the mercy of God and be glad because God knew about his troubles, God saw the adversities of Davids soul. He sees your troubles brothers and sisters, He sees the afflictions of your soul. Wont you too rest in the mercy of God? When we are tempted to run, then instead we must hide under the shadow of His wing.
There is no doubt at all as we journey through this life along the narrow path that we will have many such moments. Moments of doubts and moments of despair. We wonder if we have been forgotten and then suddenly we are back in the arms of our Father in heaven, glory to God. Maybe you are having doubts today about your walk? Perhaps you feel abandoned? Yet the Lord has promised His own, that no matter what kind of situation that we find ourselves in that He would restore us and heal our wounds. Even in the valley of the shadow of death we find that there are green pastures. We have been called to lie down in them. And in that place we come to realize that goodness and mercy shall surely follow us all the days of our lives, especially, in the many dark valleys that the narrow path takes us through.
Psa 31:5 Into thine hand I commit my spirit: thou hast redeemed me, O LORD God of truth.
2 Cor 12:9 Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
What drives us deeper into the arms of our Lord and plunges us into the depths of the Father’s heart? Not the delights of this world and its so called blessings but rather when the darkness comes and touches us. We discover that the light pierces the darkness and is as a lamp unto our feet.
Can someone who is so hopelessly lost do anything other that cry out when he is found!! When the waters of life overcome him and he is to drown and the hand of God reaches down and pulls him up. What joy, what glory! The closer the saint is to death the closer he is to life and that more abundant.
When he is stripped down and left naked and emaciated by this world and he is redeemed from the market place and his nakedness is covered, what absolute joy in the depths of ones soul! When by the power of God we can kiss the rod that strikes us and love the one who bears it then we know, then we absolutely know, that the power of Christ rests upon us.
My wife and I know something of the pain of losing. Our first child lived only for two days. In the end it was God’s unfailing healing love that brought us through. He gives, and He takes away, blessed be the Lord as Job would say. None of that negated the pain nor stopped the tears, but it did restore my broken heart. He wipes away the tears and catches them in a bottle as a memorial. And my pain ebbed like the slow receding tide as the world continues to turn. I have a firm assurance that when this tide rises again one day, and takes me up into my eternal home, there I will see the child of my youth. The why’s of it all are really just a faint echo of the world as I lay down wrapped in the arms of the one who ever weaves this tapestry of life.
In the end I had “two” funerals for my son, Stephen. The first was on an overcast rain soaked day in Scotland, which perfectly matched my darkened closed down unsaved heart. The second would come fifteen years later, many years after being saved. It came from nowhere and broke over me like a violent thunderstorm. Thunder and lightening and a torrential rain of tears. Healing, never saw it coming. God was working His way into every chamber of my heart, and everywhere the waters of life flowed, there was healing, and there was healing for me. These are the mysteries of life and a God who works in mysterious ways whose thoughts and ways are so much higher than ours. As you ponder your own loss in this world, it is very likely that no answers will ever come as to the why. When we learn to put aside the why and live this life rather than die, then once again we shall surely fly.
Great loss is a clipping of our wings. Here is the definition of wing clipping …..”Wing clipping is the process of trimming a bird’s primary wing feathers or remiges so that it is not fully flight-capable, until it moults, sheds the cut feathers and grows new ones.” I have had my primary wings clipped many times over the years as I am sure that you have dear reader. The moulting and the shedding of cut feathers and the growing of new ones takes time and comes with its own unique pains. And then one day………we fly. We live again, fully restored. A process full of mystery and undoubtedly unique to every single person.
The Spirit of God is always the Spirit of liberty; the spirit that is not of God is the spirit of bondage, the spirit of oppression and depression. The Spirit of God convicts vividly and tenesly, but He is always the Spirit of liberty. God who made the birds never made birdcages; it is people who make birdcages, and after a while become cramped and can do nothing but chirp and stand on one leg. When we get out into God’s great free life, we discover that that is the way God means us to live “the glorious liberty of the children of God.” (Oswald Chambers)
There are two main types of garden in this world. There is the garden designed by man. Wonderful and regulated in its design, measured distances between flowers, well thought out patters that please the eye. And then there is the seed that has committed itself to the Wind of the Spirit which carries it and deposits it where it will, and there it springs up and flourishes in the garden of our God. The wide open fields of God’s great free life. The so called wildflowers that grows in open meadows or drainage ditches. or in the side-streets of slums or in valley floors or mountain ranges. Who knows where the wind of the Spirit shall deposit them. God knows.
So, shall you commit the seed of your life to the wind of the Spirit? Shall you surrender yourself to be taken wherever you shall be taken? Or shall you commit yourself to the hand of man? To the designs of men? To the relative safety found in regulation? One of those choices involves great risk but also results in great freedom. The other guarantees certainty and the price is conformity. Imagine a bird, designed to fly in open skies, trapped in a birdcage. What a tragedy. Guaranteed food and shelter but the cost is no flight in open skies. Maybe the one who constrains you lets you out of your cage every now and then and you fly straight to the window. There is something in you longing to be free as you gaze at open fields or eternal skies. It’s Gods calling. Are you free today or are you being called to freedom today?
A Call To The Remnant 