I wrote a poem called ” I asked for a rose,” which a sister in the Lord later put to music. I have included it at the end of this piece. I wrote it at a time when I was very discouraged. I was in the midst of several major challenges in my life, one of those times where troubles and trials seem to come one after another. One time when I was swimming in the ocean, I was heading towards a large inflatable raft that was moored about 25 yards from the shoreline. I caught a wave right in the face, and when I came up for breath I caught another one at the exact moment I was trying to catch a breath, this happened three times and I thought for a moment that I would drown. This was what this period in my life was like, one trial after another hitting me in the face. There was no recovery period and it felt like I was being swept away and would go under.

For years now I have walked and prayed every day. As I was walking I was crying out to the Lord that I just wanted some peace. I wanted to lie down in pastures green, I wanted, no I longed to be in a place of rest and tranquility. I had shared for years that such a place could be found in the very depths of the valley and believe that with all of my heart, but this day was a very low day and I could find no peace and I longed for some encouragement from the Lord. I walked on and a story came to my mind. It was a story that I had used many times when sharing with others personally and from the platform. It was a true story about a man who went to the supermarket every week to buy his wife a single rose because he loved her. One week he went in and picked a rose and headed to the checkout to pay for it. He saw an older women standing there and the Holy Spirit spoke to him, the Lord simply said ” give the woman your rose.” That was all he heard, no explanation.

This was a man of God who loved the Lord with all of his heart but he struggled at this request. He was fearful which seemed silly but he was. He wondered what the woman would think of him. Even although she was much older, would she thing he was trying to hit on her? Most of all the man just feared that she would think he was a weirdo. Yet, the command persisted, give the lady the rose. So, he took a deep breath, walked over and said to the woman ” I know you are going to think this is strange, but the Lord has asked me to give you this rose.” He held out the rose and with a trembling hand she slowly took it but not before large tears drops began to roll down her cheek. She tried to compose herself, her lower lip trembling, she told the man. “My husband died six months ago and this morning I was overwhelmed with Loss and loneliness. I cried out to God and asked Him if He had forgotten men. And now you have handed me this rose. You see, my husband used to buy me a rose every week, the Lord has answered my prayers, now I know He has not forgotten me.” The man was stunned.

As I walked, pondering this story, feeling very discouraged, I cried out to the Lord that I would “like a rose,” meaning that I would like to be encouraged like that. About an hour later I received a call. It was from a dear old friend and saint whom I had not heard from in a few years. She was a lot older than me, been on the road for a long time and very sensitive to the Lord. She told me that the Lord had laid me upon her heart and she spent the next thirty minutes telling me how much I ministered to her over the years and so on. I was deeply encouraged by her words but more than that, I knew that this was the Lord Himself responding to me, encouraging me. I had asked for a rose and He had given me a garden, hence the name of the poem. Maybe you are deeply discouraged today. The trials of life have stacked up against you, you just long for a place of peace. You long to be found in the depths of Him. You simply need a touch from Him. Perhaps in the reading of this piece the Lord is answering your prayers, reminding you that He has not forgotten about you and that He loves you deeply and cares for you. Ask for your rose this morning and then walk in the depths of His glorious garden as you listen to this song.

When my wife and I were 17, we had a son called Stephen. It is amazing how much effect he has had upon my life although he only lived for two days. Every life is precious. Our son was only six months in the womb and weighed only two pounds, he fought for every breath, he fought for life. Even after the machines were switched off, he still fought. Yet in some other darkened ward, a child just like ours life was being snuffed out. God sees it all and weeps for the lost generations of children.

Stephen

When I was very young
A star fell from the sky
How could something beautiful
Falter and then die

The light of life shone brightly
In the struggle and the pain
And though the light it soon was gone
I’ll see that light again

Only six months in the womb
He fought for every breath
After two days here among us
His life gave way to death

Yet that star that fell from heaven
That star that shone so bright
Left his mark on me forever
Like the stars that shine at night

So Stephen, Daddy loves you
And no matter where I roam
The day is near upon us
When I’ll be coming home

Then I’ll be with you in the night sky
Perhaps I’ll sit you on my knee
When I join you in the light of Christ
Where we shall ever be.

A neighbor shot himself in the field behind my house on Tuesday. It is profoundly sad and tragic. I spent the the first few days of this week writing a poem about the many struggles that I had prior to becoming a Christian with this particular demon. This man was a good man. He was a Christian. I had spoken to him many times. The last time we spoke he gave me some tiny little crosses that he would hand out to people, he said that he knew I spoke to people and maybe I could give them one. I want you to know today that if you are struggling with this issue, please speak to someone, find someone. I also want to ask folks today to engage people more, even just ask how someone is doing. In a supposedly connected world we have become so disconnected. I pray the Lord’s grace upon his wife and adult children.

I was born with a trembling soul
Intuitively knowing that I’d have to pay the toll
Darkened troubled waters and the wind was in my face
Staying alive was just one perpetual race

Swimming up the river, never ever down
Really,would it be such a big deal just to drown
Just to stop the thrashing and simply to let go
And the darkened troubled waters would take me in its flow

You would see me laugh but you would never see me cry
The trouble with troubled waters is that they dare you to die
Hopes and expectations were for ordinary people
In my darkened troubled waters, hope was truly lethal

Pretending to be normal was the greatest pain of all
It looked like I was walking but it really was a crawl
The darkened troubled waters they were seeping into me
This was the kind of darkness that no one must ever see

It was the bottom of a bottle, sex and then a roach
In no particular order, this was my approach
And all the while the waters rise trying to pull you down
Any light was left receding as the darkness gathered round

Darkened troubled waters and a trembling soul
The man in dark was coming, he was coming for his toll
I looked around and found myself at the bottom of the pit
I looked up and saw no light and knew that this was it

I looked down in horror, no heart no flesh no bone
I looked around in horror, my God I’m all alone
And in that moment I cried  “my God please come to me”
And suddenly there was light “I have come to set you free.”

And so it was and so it is my Father took me by the hand
Upward ever upward out of the pit into the promised land
He set me on the Rock and I looked down, no longer a heart of steel
Within my chest a new heart beat and it could love and it could feel

If you swim in troubled waters and there’s no where left to go
There’s no more fight, you’ve given up and are carried by its flow
There is a hand that reaches down and He will make you whole
For the hand belongs to the Son of God, He’s already paid the toll.

A man’s crown will lift you very high
For all the world to see
A crown of thorns will lift you up
Upon a bloody tree

A man’s crown dresses you with style
The finest clothes that you can wear
A crown of thorns will strip you down
And it will leave you bare

A man’s crown will make you known
You’ll be the toast of every ball
A crown of thorns it causes you
To not be known at all

A man’s crown will give you fortune
And it will give you fame
A crown of thorns will make you bleed
And you will never be the same

Will you stretch your hands out wide
Will you humbly bow your head
The nails and thorns they penetrate
And leave your old man dead

All men who seek to save their lives
To build and then to multiply
Will surely lose their eternal lives
And they will forever die

The man who gives his head to thorns
And gives his hands to nails
Is the overcoming child of God
Who endures and who prevails.

For what am I without the Lord?
A butterfly without a wing
A nightingale that cannot sing
A man who truly has no tears
Simply drowning in his fears

For what am I without the Lord?
A child without a lullaby
A sea that surely has run dry
A dark night sky without the moon
A man who cannot die too soon

For what am I without the Lord?
A child without a mother’s breast
A bird with chicks who has no nest
A man who has no will to live
Who has no heart that can forgive

Now what am I with my dear Lord
A valley through the mountains high
A swallow flying in the sky
A sun that sets in a majestic sea
A shackled prisoner now set free