I wanted to address something. Many people have messaged me and told me how strong I am in the midst of this cancer and how they admire my faith. I do not want to give the impression that going through cancer is easy and “all you have to do is,”……….fill in the blanks. A test is a test, a trial is a trial, not because it is easy but because it is not. Jesus is the star of this story of mine. He is strong, He is faithful, He is my high tower. I run into Him. I cry out to Him, I rely upon Him for the little strength and faith I do have. It is an honor and a privilege to represent Him no matter what my circumstances are. Consider these verses from Psalm 37. Trust in the LORD, and do good; so shall you dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the LORD; and he shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your ways unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass. And he shall bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your judgment as the noonday. Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him:
In this portion of Scripture we are instructed how to walk in the power and strength of the Lord. We are to trust Him and do good. We are to delight ourselves in the Lord. We are to commit all our ways unto Him. We are also told (NKJ) to ” feed upon His faithfulness.” I left that to last because this has been my primary source of strength. I feed upon His faithfulness. It edifies my very soul and gives strength to me physically.I have been through enough trials in my life that I can say, without a shadow of a doubt, that He is faithful. He has never left me nor forsaken me. It is His faithfulness I celebrate, it is His strength in me that makes this weak vessel strong. I am nothing without the Lord and would have crumbled and fallen into the sea of life a long time ago without Jesus. I feed upon the faithfulness of my heavenly Father and I am well fed. It is well with my soul because of His residency there. In and of myself I am weak, yet, His strength is only highlighted in my weakness.
In the quietness of peace and in the beauty of Holiness we should make our way through this noisy world. Like an elegant sailing ship making its way through calm waters with a beautiful fresh wind in its sails, we should walk through this world as peacemakers, drawing men and women to Jesus. We must not simply be a believer in doctrines but rather we must be a manifestation of such doctrines. Living epistles read of men. If men could read aloud the story of our hearts would it draw them to the Father? The narrative of our spirits should be like manna in the desert and water that bursts forth from rocks. In short, we should be life among death and light that pierces through the gross darkness of this world. A lighthouse that stands tall upon the Rock.
Your presence fills me with great joy And turns every shadow into light Great consolation is mine Which feeds the deepest part of me, and sustains me though the night.
Oh blessed joy is mine divine The eternal longing of my aching heart For the day when the morning star rises And then, forever, we shall never be apart
To look into the depths of who You are Even for a moment, gives life unto my weary soul The one who took the many broken pieces Before the throne and the Father made me whole
I will awaken the dawn with the praises of my King You will hear, from the ends of the earth, heavenly choirs sing Look through the door of your heart that He has knocked upon And hear the angels singing their golden heavenly song
Then shall heaven and earth be one together And we shall abide before His throne forever I in him and He in we Cast upon an eternal holy sea.
When the stroke goes down to the soul And the billows they begin to roll When the lightening fractures the sky above Shall we be found to be anchored in His glorious love?
When the ship is swamped and going under And the rain so loud and the clashing thunder Cause you to cry out and look up towards heaven Shall we stand upon God and not be so driven?
Surely goodness and mercy despite our afflictions Will follow us forever without contradiction And a table before us, a feast for a King Will cause our troubled hearts to sing
Of His majesty and glory and joy without measure As we gaze upon His righteousness, His heavenly treasure He maketh me lie down in pastures so green And beside the still waters eternally serene.
It has been a night of grief, yet a night of blessing. A night in which there may have been many things which we would wish forgotten., yet many more which we should wish to be remembered for ever. Often during its gloom, we called it “wearisome,” and said “When shall I arise and the night be gone? (Job 7:) Yet how much was there to reconcile it, rather, to fill us with praise because of it! It was then the Lord drew near, and the world was displaced and self was smitten, and our will conquered, and faith grew speedily, and hope became brighter and more eager, and the things that are unseen were felt to be real and true. (H. Bonar)
Brothers and sisters, suffering draws us close unto the Lord. The long night of illness or trial draws us closely to the fires of heaven. We see with eyes that can peer through the night and give us sight to see our heavenly Jerusalem. The fading parchments of this life become somewhat crude in the light of heavenly fires. What comfort the children of Israel must have garnered as the fire by night nestled above them in the calm assurance of His presence. The cloud by day that would shelter them from the blazing desert heat. Our songs in the night give birth to sight. Out of darkness there comes a sure knowledge that He is with us. To not just follow Him closely along the narrow pilgrim way, but rather to walk hand in hand with Him and hear Him so sweetly that our hear burns within our chest……bro Frank
I wrote this poem yesterday while I was having chemo. It was a long day but I very much sensed the presence of the Lord, in divine appointments and also a message from a dear friend who had just recorded the message in the middle of their prayer meeting in Estonia. He prayed for me and then his dear wife prayed for me and I could hear the other saints praying in the background. I was quite overcome to think how honored and how privileged I was. I was humbled, shed a few tears, then wrote this poem. You will notice that I use the word infused a couple of time 🙂
When hope gives way to presence.
When the desire comes, it's a tree of life to me. And the tree nourishes the parts you cannot see Hope deferred causes my aching heart to long And in the longing creates in me a song.
Sing my heart, sing of all His glory Create in me the desire to tell Your story. To scale the highest mountain, just to shout your name Consumed by your majesty, ignited by your flame.
Come to me, draw me to your throne To that place I know that I am truly known And the tree of life infuses me with peace And your glory, from the depths of me, released.
Beyond the falling leaf there lies the pastures green And a heavenly river infused by glorious streams. Beyond the troubled waters you have surely come to me And you take my spirit over, to that place beyond the sea.
Sorrow leaves it's mark upon the soul As the Lord shapes us and takes back what the enemy stole With an iron pen and lead in the rock, it is written The genuine work of God, His composition
He has written His word upon the heart that He has given And with many a blow, sin from our soul is driven Shall we not welcome the rod that can never miss? And with a warm embrace, direct it with a kiss
We can count the cost, then embrace the cross or lay it down and suffer the loss Remember each one is crafted by His hand And are designed so that no man can still stand It's by His Blood and sorrow they were crafted And they seal the wounds whereby we are grafted.
2Co 4:17 For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory;
Heb 12:1 Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,
This word weight is used both times in the scriptures with the context being very different obviously. It can mean abundance or burden or load. Now clearly sin is a burden to the soul, a load not easily carried. It slows us down, much like if we were attached to an anchor and had to drag it behind us. We have all felt it. Yet Heb 121:1 is compelling us, with a vision, to lay that burden down. Look up with spiritual eyes and see that we are surrounded by a cloud of witnesses. Those who have gone before us, the angels of heaven, the Kingdom of God. See the things that are eternal. See the Lord Jesus Christ high and lifted up. When we look to Jesus, the author and the finisher of our faith then sin loses it’s power and its hold on us.
When we look not at the things that are seen, but rather the things which are not seen then there is a power released in us. The light of the Gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ begins to shine forth from the depths of our very beings. This treasure that dwells in the depths of our hearts pours forth like the rising of the sun after the long night. What a welcome sight for all those who dwell in darkness to see the rising sun shine forth from us, and it draws men to God. Rather than our afflictions causing us to look down and to fall into sorrow, let our light afflictions cause us to look up and to be encompassed with the eternal abundance of His glory. With eyes to see, we peer into the glories of the world to come. We are overcome with His majesty, with His glory, with His holiness, with His joy. This power truly comes to pass in the midst of our afflictions for it is then that God has commanded His light to shine forth from the darkness.
“How fast we learn in a day of sorrow. It is as if affliction awoke our powers and lent them new quickness of perception. We advance more in knowledge of Scripture in a single day than in years before. We learn songs in the night, though such music was unknown before. A deeper experience has taken us down into the depths of Scripture and shown us its hidden wonders.” (Horatius Bonar)
And I will give you the treasures of darkness, and hidden riches of secret places, that you may know that I, the LORD, which call thee by thy name, am the God of Israel. (Isa 45:3)
When darkness comes knocking at our door and we come to the end of our own resources, we cry out into the night. There is a hidden treasure that awaits the saints who are overtaken by afflictions. Out of the darkness, God Himself has commanded that light would shine. It shines into the depths of our hearts and dispels all fears. Our perceptions change. Worldly things that were important yesterday, are no longer important today. Our hearts and our minds are drawn up into high and lofty places. Our brokenness allows the hidden treasures of God that lie within us to pour forth as never before. The night watches, so dreaded by men, becomes our sanctuary. A holy place where the Lord Himself gives us a song. Is there a more sweeter sound that the song that resonates in our heart in the night? The contrast of darkness only serves to illuminate the brilliance of the light of God.
Down we go, down into the depths of the Word and His truth and His promises. And as we are taken by the depths of His love, we are lifted to the heights of His glory. The precious hand of God wherein we lie, closes over us and holds us tight as the storms and the waves reach up to try and pull us down. Yet, they cannot, for nothing can pluck us from the hand of God. Every precious word of God becomes a shaft of light that pierces through the darkness. And that light warms us and envelops us and keeps us from the icy blasts of this world with all of its ravages. We become super sensitive to His presence and to His promises and to His love. We begin to actually live one day at a time just as our Lord and Master Jesus told us to. And what a glorious way to live with our eyes truly set upon Him.
As we consider the lilies of the field, as we consider the sparrows of the air, as we understand that His eye is on the sparrow and He clothes the grass of the fields with much more splendor that Solomon was ever arrayed, we understand His eye is on us. And in the knowing of this, in the depths of our heart, there arises great joy. Joy in the darkness? Joy in the affliction? Joy in the depths of infirmities? Yes, yes, yes!!! It is the joy of the Lord. And the joy of the Lord that rises up from the darkness is our strength in the night. You will show me the path of life: in your presence is fullness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore. (Psa 16:11) His presence is my song in the night. His presence is my fullness. His presence is my joy. He alone lifts me up to the mountaintops from the valley floor. In fact, they are both alike to Him for where He is, is Holy ground…..bro Frank.
The Lord, of course, was acquainted with sorrows and sufferings and this gives us strength to know that He knows and He sees all of our afflictions. In the end, our walk must simplify as we mature in Him. We must decrease and He must increase. This decreasing is something of a mystery. Perhaps diminished is also a good word, to be diminished in our own estimations of our “self.”
The greater damage we do to self, the clearer the two kingdoms become. The kingdoms of this world and its ruler, and the Kingdom of God, that was, and is, and is to come and it’s ruler, the Lord Jesus. How do we “diminish,” “self?” How do we decrease? How is the hold that self has on us loosed? Only by the cross. Only ever by the cross. The flesh refuses to die, it refuses to relinquish control. We cannot negotiate with it or compromise with it. Absolute surrender, which is so offensive to the world and self, is our stance. Therefore it’s a battle to the death. No quarter to be given.
As we go down this road, by the power of the cross and the power of the Holy Spirit, we begin to turn a corner at some point. As we surrender to surrender our eyes begin to “see,” things more clearly. We begin to hear the call of heaven more loudly. It begins to fill us and fill us with a greater longing to only live in the Kingdom of God. The things of this world begin to lose its grip on us. We can picture ourselves in the dungeon with Paul and Silas, praising God in the darkness of the midnight hour.
Paul “learned,” to be content. He did not just suddenly arrive at the place where he could declare all things loss as dung in comparison to be found in Him. He walked through many fires and afflictions. He suffered greatly with infirmities. He was hungry and naked, shipwrecked, lashed to within an inch of his life. He was despised and rejected. All of this happened to him as he walked down the path the Master has blazed for us. Shall we continue down the narrow path brothers and sisters?
This narrow path leads to Calvary, the ultimate death. Can we say, with our Lord ” for the joy that is set before me?” What joy is this? The joy of fulfilling the will of God in our lives. His will, not ours. His will, which is so violently opposed by our flesh and fights so viciously to exercise its own will. His will is the solid Rock upon which we stand. His will is the center of all that exists. His will is our very spiritual existence. Death to the flesh begins to leads us to an unobstructed view of His will.We see more clearly His desire for us. His desire for us becomes our desire for ourselves. The desire of our hearts is to glorify Him in all that we do.
Let everything that does not bring you peace, let everything that does not bring you to this place, go. In the end we love Jesus more than everything. Which was our genuine declaration in the beginning of our walk. Our peace in Him, our joy in Him, is our strength. Without this strength we can do nothing. When all those around us are floundering, when all are losing their heads, then we must be found in Him. We cannot go down with the ship, rather we must walk upon the water and reach out our hand to them. We walk upon the water by keeping our eyes on Jesus. Lift up your eyes today dear brothers and sisters, and see where your help comes from. Reach out to Jesus, take His hand, and never let go!
Deep calls unto deep At the noise of your waterfalls And in the daytime Your loving-kindness calls And when the nighttime comes Your song shall be with me And even in the darkness, I shall see.
To the Lord my Rock I run beneath thy wings And in the night watches I listen to the angels sing When darkness is all around Send out Your light to me Shackles are broken, and I am free
A very present help Though the mighty waters roar And mountains they fall down Yet your Spirit helps restore My troubled heart in times of need Within my chest it surely leaps As the deep within my soul calls out to Deep.
This is the word from the Lord that led to my last poem. This video is an update of my current sitution, may the Lord be praised through all of it………………..bro Frank
“And in the silence there is peace. It dwells above the noise and the din. Above the begging and the pleadings and the raging storm, there sleeps Jesus in the boat. Shall we too arrive at the place where sleep is not dependent upon the storm being stilled? Where trust lies down among the lions. Where perfect love casts out all fear. This is the Kingdom of God, this is the rarified air of heaven. This is the shaft of light that pierces the darkness and guides us home.”
This a a poem I just wrote based on a word the Lord gave me last week due to my current circumstances (cancer)
And in the silence there is peace It dwells above the noise and din And faith from heaven is released And fills completely from within
Beggings and pleadings are not heard By our own hand we are not kept afloat Yet Christ Himself in the midst of it all Keeps the storm at bay, asleep in the boat
I shall lie down, at peace in the silence When all around, the storm rages still Safe and secure in the depths of His glory In perfect peace at the center of His will.
I sleep in the midst of the lion's den They are held at bay by His heavenly hand His perfect love casts out all fear And in peace or storm I shall surely stand
I breathe in deeply the air of heaven It fills me and fills me with His perfect love A shaft of light shatters the darkness It leads me and guides me to my home high above.
The Lord is the strength of my life He is the ground upon which I stand And though war has risen and come after me I'm confident in the God who has set me free!
And in the secret place of His tabernacle He's set me high upon the Rock And His pavilion is a home and shelter to me I am confident in the God whom I can see.
This one thing is the desire of my longing heart That I may dwell in His house forever And behold His beauty and His marvelous grace And forever and continually seek His face
I would have lost heart, but for this one thing His beauty and the glory of His might And when everything's gone and I'm all alone I shall seek His face before His throne
Wait on the Lord when it all goes wrong When the world and it's ways presses in When the night has come and there's no way ahead Wait upon the Lord and bow your head
Fall to your knees and lift up your hands Cry out to the one from above And without any notice, quite suddenly You shall drenched by His marvelous love.
The very opening line from David in Psalm 18 is “I will love you O Lord…..my strength.” He is our strength at all times. His love for us and our love for Him creates the Kingdom of God in our hearts. It creates the atmosphere of heaven that surrounds us. It creates the light that shines forth from us to a dark world. In this particular psalm, David is writing about many years of trials and brokenness, years when he was hounded by Saul and surrounded by enemies. Years mind you. Not a day or a week or a season, but multiple years when, for all intents and purposes, he was not moving in victory. His enemies seemed to have the upper-hand. Now the question becomes “shall we be faithful yet.” Shall we still follow the Lord with all of our hearts even when our prayers are not answered? Even when we have been backed into a corner? There have been times with all the great saints of the Bible when for multiple seasons and multiple years nothing seems to be going right.
Abraham waited so very long, over twenty five years, for the child of promise to be born and with every passing year, at least in the natural, the promise became less likely. Did he stand? Jacob, on the run so to speak for multiple years, not fulfilling his destiny. Moses, all that time in the desert, having run from the Egyptians. Over and over again the story goes. Joseph and his dream, yet between the dream being fulfilled there lay ahead of him rejection and betrayal and slavery and imprisonment. And so here we are with David. Saul is dead, his most implacable enemy. God has delivered him after countless years of wilderness wanderings and betrayals and rejections and tests. And David begins His thanksgiving to God by highlighting his love for God and acknowledging His strength. He is the Lord His rock and his fortress and his deliverer. The God in whom, all through the dark days, the valleys and the caves, he trusted. God was his very shield, the horn of his salvation and his stronghold.
He called upon the Lord his God when the “pangs of death,” surrounded him. He called upon his great love when the “floods of ungodliness,” made him afraid. When the “sorrows of hell,” surrounded him and the “snares of death,” confronted him, he called upon God. In his distress he “cried out to God.” And time after time he got the breakthrough. Not necessarily from his circumstances, no, his breakthrough was “He heard my voice from his temple.” His cry had come before His Lord and even just in the knowing that God knew and saw his afflictions, there was victory in that alone and he was encouraged by living waters. How many times was Paul told not be afraid for the Lord his God was with him? The breakthrough in every situation is first and foremost to “know” that “God is with you.” Now some may say that we should always know that as His saints. I would just answer with saying that it is one thing to know something in our heads, it is quite another to recognize the manifest presence of a God who walks with His children.
Look at the response of God starting in the seventh verse, this is the response to David who was constantly crying out to the Lord His God. “Then the earth shook and trembled.” Not unlike what happened to Paul and Silas in the dungeon. A devouring fire came forth from the Lord and “He bowed the heavens and came down…………He rose upon the cherub……He flew upon the wings of the wind.” “He sent from above and He drew me out of many waters.” He saw the many situations of David and He moved on his behalf, this faithful man of God who ever cried out to Him. And in the end , after many many faithful years in the valley and in the cave, God himself delivered David from all his enemies, especially his greatest enemy, Saul. Shall He not also deliver us dear brothers and sisters? Shall He not hear our cries from the valley?
If you have been going through a long and arduous test or tests. If there seems to be no light at the end of your circumstances. If you have been surrounded by the pangs of death and great ungodliness and sorrow besets you on every side and the gates of hell themselves has come against you, keep crying out to God. He is your strength. He is the Rock upon which you stand. He is your fortress and you can run into Him. He is your deliverer and your strength in whom you can trust. He is worthy to be praised in the midnight hour. He sees the afflictions of His people. He knows, He cares, He is actively working on your behalf even when you are not aware of it. He ever intercedes for you before the throne and in truth, it is the reason you still stand. He prepares a table before you in the very presence of your enemies and in due time He shall bow the heavens and come down. He is faithful even in the midst of darkness and when we cannot see the way ahead, He is the way ahead brothers and sisters, cry out to Him today for He is your strength.
My hope is in the Lord my God, who dwells within my heart
The one who came and died for me, His glory to impart
The Christ who raised me from the dead
To live forevermore
The one whose broken ever chain and opened every door.
He's the Lord who whispers in my ear, He listens to my cries
The one who never ever sleeps, the one who surely died
He died for you and He died for me
He surely rose again
Removing every doubt and fear, removing every stain
He's my sunrise in the morning, the light for every day
To chase away the darkness and in my heart He stays
And there He always shall remain
Until my day is done
He gives me strength to carry on, the victory it is won.
He's the sunset of my life, He is with me to the end
He heals the very depths of me, the broken He shall mend
He lifts me with the rising tide
To stand on higher ground
He's with me through the waters, in Him I shall be found.
My cousin, who is just a few years younger than myself, has stage 4 prostrate cancer which has spread to his spine and to his liver. This was his initial diagnosis. Due to Covid and a general health crisis in Britain, he was not regularly tested. His father died of the same disease at roughly the same age. He lives in Wales and it is fairly rural. I have been to the small village of Lougher many years ago when I helped moderate a revival conference at Moriah chapel, the birth place of the Welsh revival. My cousin is an engineer and has worked all over the world and traveled extensively, indeed he has visited us in Kansas on many occasions. I have always really liked my cousin, he has many admiral qualities but we did butt heads on many occasions, both being younger and headstrong. Age and life and sanctification has knocked many of the rough edges off of us.
And so I found out that he had cancer when I was over in Scotland for my dads funeral back in March. I was deeply saddened by this report and upon my return to Kansas, I contacted him and we began to zoom on a weekly basis. The first thing that impressed me was his calm demeanor. He bore no ill will towards a system that had let him down. Nor was he angry at a particular Dr who specifically let him down. This is all the more impressive when you consider, that his dad, my uncle ( a wonderful saint) had been misdiagnosed and not properly treated at the beginning of his own battle with cancer that would lead to his demise. And so, his quiet demeanor and softening of heart and spirit is very heart warming and encouraging to me. He has a chair where he spends much time meditating on the Word of God and getting quiet before Him.
I want you to understand something. Such is the state of the health service in Britain in general and Wales in particular, my cousin has never seen an oncologist. He has only ever spoken to her over the phone. They told him that they were “going to throw everything at it,” and so begun a three month regimen of chemo and radiation treatment as well as hormone therapy and other drugs. The nurses were amazed that he never lost his hair and that he almost no side-effects at all. And so the course came to an end at the end of August and it took a few weeks for them to arrange images and blood-work. It takes a further month for him to get a call from the oncologist only to be told that his images had not been read by anyone ( she apologized) but that based on her own expertise she was somewhat pleased at what she saw but she would call again two weeks later and this time she would definitely have the radiologists reports.
Now you would think that all of this waiting would be agonizing, especially when you have returning pain in your lower spine. Yet, again, my cousins attitude was exemplary. Our sessions together are always good and our prayer time at the end of these sessions are always deep and meaningful to me. And so, just a couple of weeks ago, the day arrived that the oncologist was to call. The window for the call was either between 8am and 1pm, or 1pm and 5pm. So, you basically had to sit by the phone all day waiting on the call. And as he is want, he was sitting in his easy chair reading the Word. And as he is going through the psalms, this day he had arrived at psalm 20. His method was to read the psalm and mediate on it all day and so this is what he was doing.
“May the Lord answer you in day of trouble………………May the name of the God of Jacob defend you…………May He send you help from His sanctuary…………And strengthen you out of Zion……….May He grant you according to your hearts desire and fulfill all your purposes…………..Now I know that the Lord saves His anointed……… May the Lord fulfill all of your petitions……….He will hear from His holy heaven with the saving strength of His right hand…………….some trust in chariots and some in horses but we shall remember the name of the Lord our God…..they have bowed down and fallen but we have risen and stand upright……save Lord! May the King answer us when we call.”
As my cousin was taken up with these thoughts the hours got away from him. He looked at the clock and realized it was almost noon. No calls. He glanced at his phone and to his great surprise there was two “missed calls.” It was from the oncologist. Now, my cousin is in an engineer. There is always a purpose in what he does and does not do. He looked at his phone to see how it was possible that he could miss not just one, but two very important calls. Was the volume off? No. As he looked further he realized that his phone was set to “do not disturb.” Now, he had not set the phone to do not disturb. In fact he had never set that phone or any other other phone to “do not disturb. He said he would not even know how to do it and of course, given the highly important nature of the call that day, even if he did know how to do it he would not have.
Suddenly the Lord impressed upon him that He did not want my cousin to be disturbed by the oncologist. And that he was not to be disturbed, rather he was to listen to Him and what He was saying to him through the word. Brothers and sisters, I have no doubt at all that it was the hand of the Lord Himself or some angel that pressed the do not disturb button on my cousins phone. There comes a time in all of our lives when there is no help from anyone. No help from the system, from the medical field or any other avenue. Whereby only the hand of the Lord Himself can save us and keep us and guard us from all alarm. We are not to be disturbed but rather we are to trust in the Lord and the power of His might. Whether we live or whether we die we are to stand fast in Him and He is to be glorified. All of this flows from trust. Be encouraged today brothers and sisters….do not be disturbed and do not allow the world to disturb you. In this world we shall have troubles, but take heart! Jesus has overcome the world.
A Call To The Remnant 