Oh the beauty of His manifested presence It is all the world to me Not to be held captive by this life but rather unrestrained by it, and set free My eyes have seen the King And they now belong to Him My heart within me burns Brighter than a thousand suns The celestial road opens up before me And down this road we walk as one And this is the path I want to be found on Until my time on earth is done My heart beats to the rhythm of His And everything falls into place I see Him high and lifted up The beauty of His holiness, the splendor of His grace Draw me nearer blessed Lord that I might mortify That I might cast upon thy cross what thou has crucified And in the dying comes the rising As I lift my hands on high And your Spirit falls upon me Lord That I might testify. I am undone in the presence of thy throne Your glory has stripped me all away All that is left is what you've redeemed And through me your impenetrable light has streamed Draw me closer, closer, closer every day Every week, every month, the passing years Closer with my heart and with my life With my thoughts and with my prayers and with my tears.
Archive for the ‘the state of the church’ Category
He bids me come.
Posted by appolus on October 21, 2023
Posted in bible, Christian, christian blog, christian living, Christian poetry, Christianity, intimacy, Jesus, poetry, spiritual poetry, testimony, the crucified life, the deeper life, the gospel, the persectuted church, The presence of God, the remnant, The State of the Chuch and Manifest presence, the state of the church, Uncategorized | Leave a Comment »
Drawing closer unto thee.
Posted by appolus on October 19, 2023

Oh the beauty of His manifested presence in my life, daily. It causes me to take my thoughts captive, less they take me captive. When my mind is set on Him, as I walk with Him, daily, then fear flees away. Does not my heart burn within me? I see His beauty and it is high and lifted up. I rest in the beauty of His holiness. And as I do that, then the world and all its distractions flee away. My eyes have seen the King and they now belong to Him. My heart within me burns and to Him all of me turns. The celestial road opens up before me and we walk as one. And this is the path I ever want to be found on, until my time on earth is done.
My heart beats to the rhythm of His heart and everything is right with the world. In this place I take no offense for I am found in Him. And when I am found in Him I can only see Jesus. I can only sense the glory and the majesty and the beauty of His serenity. In this place there is no fear. In this place there is no worldly ambition, there is only the drawing. And once caught up in the gravity of His magnificence then I simply surrender to the pull. Letting go of the things of this world, allows me to unfurl, like a banner that flutters in the wind of the Spirit. As the old hymn goes …Draw me nearer, nearer, nearer, blessed Lord,
to the cross where Thou hast died; draw me nearer, nearer, nearer, blessed Lord, to Thy precious, bleeding side.
Draw me nearer, nearer blessed Lord that I might mortify, that I might cast upon thy holy cross what thou has crucified. And in the dying comes the rising as I lift my hands on high, and thy Spirit falls upon me that I might testify. I am undone in the presence of thy glorious holy throne. where in the midst, the precious Lamb and His Blood that did atone. And all of heavens host cry out “Holy is the Lamb,” as they dwell before the King of Kings, before the great I Am. Lord I would come to thee, I would draw closer every day, closer with the passing days and with the passing years. Closer with my whole heart, closer with life, closer with my thoughts and prayers and closer with my tears.
Posted in christian blog, christian living, Christian poetry, Christianity, Daily devotional, Devotions, Jesus, poetry, revival, testimony, the crucified life, the deeper life, the gospel, the persectuted church, The presence of God, the remnant, The State of the Chuch and Manifest presence, the state of the church, Uncategorized | 1 Comment »
Blessed by fire.
Posted by appolus on October 18, 2023
Mar 9:49 For every one shall be seasoned with fire, and every sacrifice shall be salted with salt.
Every genuine saint shall be seasoned with fire. Now we know that we are called to be salt and light to the world and if the salt has lost its flavor, what is it good for? Its good for nothing. The fire for the saint is the seasoning of his or her life. Trials and tribulations and infirmities, this is promised to us all. How do we react under such circumstances? When the darkness comes to consume us, will it yet find the light? It is such an honor and a privilege to suffer well for the sake of Jesus. It speaks to the principalities and powers who watch your life. It testifies to the darkness. It proclaims to the spiritual wickedness in high places. The rulers of this world understand many things but they do not understand the man or the woman who has been so fully transformed that they praise God in the midst of suffering.
It is otherworldly. The Kingdom walk is no where better expressed than when we rejoice in our eternal life and the Kingdom to which we now belong. It is no better illustrated when we love our enemies and forgive those who hate us and despise us and would use us and destroy us. To count the fire as a flavoring rather than a destroyer is supernatural. It cannot be counterfeited. Many may rejoice when the “blessings,” abound. Many may give glory to God when all is going well. Yet it is the “few,” who fall to their knees amidst great loss, yet raise their hands towards heaven and cry out “blessed is the name of the Lord.” He who gives and He who takes away and He who flavors us with fire is to be praised. In the fire only the flesh is burned. In the fire only our worldly ambitions disappear. The wood and the hay and the stubble burn, but the treasures of darkness are purified and refined.
Posted in bible, Christian, christian blog, christian living, Christianity, Daily devotional, Devotions, End Times Eschatology, Fresh Fire, revival, spiritual gifts, spiritual growth, Spiritual warfare, testimony, the crucified life, the deeper life, the gospel, the persectuted church, The presence of God, the remnant, The State of the Chuch and Manifest presence, the state of the church, Uncategorized | 1 Comment »
Pastor appreciation month???
Posted by appolus on October 13, 2023

Posted in Babylon, bible, Christian, christian blog, christian living, Christianity, controlling churches, Daily devotional, Devotions, False Prophets, False Prophets and Teachers, Jesus, prosperity gospel, Prosperity Lie, revival, testimony, the crucified life, the deeper life, the gospel, the persectuted church, The presence of God, the remnant, The State of the Chuch and Manifest presence, the state of the church, Uncategorized | 3 Comments »
Will you sink beneath the waves?
Posted by appolus on October 12, 2023

A few years ago as I was walking and praying, the Holy Spirit spoke to me a few words… “be careful about the condition of your heart, there is nothing more important.” That was it. I was left to ponder what had been spoken to me and all that it meant. So few words, so much meaning. Imagine being there when the Titanic was launched. What a magnificent sight that would have been. The worlds largest ship, a wonder of the world, stunningly beautiful in design, and filled with much opulence. This ship was built to ply the oceans of the world and power through tide and wave and storm. At its beating heart there were 29 huge boilers powered by 159 enormous furnaces. They had to be continually fed by coal, night and day. If the fires ever went out or ran low, then the engines would begin to falter. Without power, the ship, any ship, no matter how big, would be set adrift and helpless in the ocean. If a storm came along, it would sink, no matter how big it was or well built.
Christendom and all its many factions and sects is like a huge ship upon the ocean. No matter how big or impressive your church is, your denomination is, your particular “ministry,” is, without a fire at its heart it is just drifting and waiting for the storm that will take it down. We make the mistake of thinking that what we have or what we belong to could never sink, that it is too big or too impressive or too well built. I imagine those in Israel thought that about the Temple and Jerusalem. Yet if Christ does not dwell in the depths of our heart with the power of the Holy Spirit firing the furnace, then we are simply living on borrowed time. We may move about a ship that is not under power and seem that we are in no danger. Yet one storm or series of storms will simply turn us sideways and we will face the waves broadside and we shall begin to sway back and forward. One of these times the ship will go over, it will founder in the seas of this world that simply carry it along with its winds and tides and waves. Without power we cannot head into the storm, but will simply be tossed around by it. Without power we cannot steam into the waves and stay upright. Without power we can do nothing no matter how great the outward structure is.
Taking up our cross daily. Abiding in the Lord and His Word daily. Praying daily, hourly, minute by minute. Obeying the words and commands of Jesus. Drawing close to Jesus. Asking forgiveness from Jesus. Forgiving and humbling ourselves before others. All of this is stoking the fires of our heart and keeping its condition good. Not worrying about the things the “gentiles,” worry about. Not being anxious about the things of the world. Taking no thought about tomorrow but rather considering God and how He feeds the birds of the air and clothes the fields. Solomon, as the word says, was not arrayed with such glory. All of this and more is a shovel of coal in the furnace of our heart. It all begins with a baptism of fire brothers and sisters. It would do you no good to shovel coal into a furnace that it is not lit. This is the baptism of the Holy Spirit. It’s the fire of our heart and the power that propels us on through every obstacle no matter how strong or fierce. If we indeed have this fire, let it never be allowed to burn down to just embers. “Be careful bout the condition of your heart, there is nothing more important.”
Posted in bible, Christian, christian blog, christian living, Christianity, Daily devotional, Devotions, discernment, God's love, God's voice, Jesus, spiritual growth, Spiritual warfare, testimony, the crucified life, the deeper life, the gospel, the persectuted church, The presence of God, the remnant, The State of the Chuch and Manifest presence, the state of the church, Uncategorized | 2 Comments »
Anarchy and chaos.
Posted by appolus on October 10, 2023

Posted in Babylon, bible, Christian, Christianity, Daily devotional, Devotions, end times, End Times Eschatology, Eschatology - Study of the 'End Times', False Prophets, Jesus, politics, revival, Spiritual warfare, testimony, the crucified life, the deeper life, the gospel, the persectuted church, The presence of God, the remnant, The State of the Chuch and Manifest presence, the state of the church, Uncategorized | Leave a Comment »
Being prepared for the end times.
Posted by appolus on October 7, 2023

Posted in Babylon, bible, Christian, christian blog, christian living, Christianity, Church history, churches, Daily devotional, Devotions, end times, End Times Eschatology, Eschatology - Study of the 'End Times', Jesus, revival, testimony, the crucified life, the deeper life, the gospel, the persectuted church, The presence of God, the remnant, The State of the Chuch and Manifest presence, the state of the church, Uncategorized | Leave a Comment »
The ship is going into the murky waters of life.
Posted by appolus on October 5, 2023

Let me go out on a limb a little bit and prophesy. I see the time coming when all the holy men whose eyes have been opened by the Holy Spirit will desert worldly evangelicalism, one by one. The house will be left desolate and there will not be a man of God, a man to whom the Holy Spirit dwells, left among them (A.W.Tozer, The dangers of a shallow faith.)
This prophecy was made over 60 years ago. He goes on to say…. “as the church stands now, the man who sees this condition of worldly evangelicalism is written off as being somewhat fanatical. But the day is coming when the house will be left desolate and there will not be a man of God left among them. I would like to live long enough to watch this develop and see how things turn out. I would like to live to see the time when the men and women of God-holy, separated and spiritually enlightened-walk out of the evangelical church and form a group of their own, when they get off the sinking ship and let her go down in the brackish waters of worldliness and form a new ark to ride out the storm.”
Can I say, for the most part, what passes for the church now, has sunk beneath the brackish waves or worldliness to which Tozer prophesied. What passes for church now would be entirely unrecognizable to the men and women of God who are now the arms of the Lord. Has the prophecy come to pass as of now? No. Evangelicalism has certainly sunk beneath the waves, but those who have come out of her have not found their place yet. The time will come. Persecution on a scale never seen before will draw us together as we have never been before. It took persecution to scatter the saints in Jerusalem so that they would go out and fulfill the commands of the Lord. It will take the great tribulation to bring us back together.
We will stand before an angry world, most likely led by the sunken Evangelical and religious movements, and not be moved. They will see how a saint stands in the midst of the fire with Jesus by their side. They will see a purified bride, having been stripped of everything this world has to offer, yet covered by the glory of the risen Lord. They will see a people like Job who will fall to their knees and cry out to God in worship “the Lord gives and the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord.” In short, they will see the glory of God cover the earth as the brackish waters cover the sea. The worldly church, the world and everything religious in it sinks into these foul waters. The Body of Christ rises up in the pure and undefiled waters that flow from heavens throne and it is crystal clear and will stand in complete contrast to the defiled waters of this world.
Posted in bible, christian blog, christian living, Christian poetry, Christianity, Church history, churches, Daily devotional, Devotions, end times, End Times Eschatology, Eschatology - Study of the 'End Times', Extreme Prophetic, Jesus, prophecy, revival, Spiritual warfare, testimony, the crucified life, the deeper life, the gospel, the persectuted church, The presence of God, the remnant, The State of the Chuch and Manifest presence, the state of the church, theology | 9 Comments »
Tear down those walls!
Posted by appolus on September 28, 2023

On my recent vacation to the lake, I met a young man in his early 30s. He was sitting beside a communal fire where one could make s’mores, that great American favorite. As I sat down beside the fire I introduced myself and we began to talk. It turns out I was talking to a theologian. He had two masters degrees in divinity and theology and was in the process of getting his doctorate. He was also an ordained elder of his local Presbyterian church. His day job was computer programming. And so our discussion began.
The Lord laid it upon my heart to speak about John chapter three and the love of God for the world that motivated Him to send His only Son to die for the whosoever and the necessity of being born again. I really could not have guessed at his reaction. He spent most of the rest of our conversation trying to prove that God hates, and quoted psalm 5. He agreed with me that the Scriptures are not broken but insisted that God hates sinners. Hard as I tried, I could not persuade him otherwise, and talk about the Old Covenant and the New yielded no fruit. So I tried another tactic. I asked him if he could tell me about his own new birth, about him being born again.
He told me that when he was 16 or 17, he was asked what salvation meant by some of his high school friends. Despite growing up in the Presbyterian, he was ashamed to admit that he did not know. So, he went and educated himself as to what the Bible says about salvation. That was it, that was his “salvation.” Education, knowledge of facts. A mental assent to a series of abstract truths. Now we know that the Devil himself knows and gives assent to Biblical truth, and trembles. Oh that men would tremble at the truth of God. Here is what Tozer says about truth. “Divine truth is of the nature of spirit and for that reason can only be received by spiritual revelation….Gods thoughts belong to the world of spirit, man’s to the world of intellect. And while spirit can embrace intellect, the human intellect can never comprehend spirit.”
Everything this young man had was in his head. It was all human knowledge. His reason and his intellect caused him to know about God, but not “know,’ Him. Therefore he had an inability to talk about God the Father or Jesus or the Holy Spirit in any intimate way whatsoever. The intellect is not how we “know,’ Jesus. It is by the work of the spirit and of revelation. Yet for centuries Christendom has been dominated by “theologians.” And the interesting thing about theologians is that they are wall builders and historically people burners. Of all of the hundreds of thousands of martyrs in the last two thousand years, no one was every martyred by a “layman.” Every denomination has its own theologians and each of them build walls of theology, bulwarks if you like, against others of differing views on the same Scriptures. Their weapons are proof texting and they are not afraid to use them.
As an old stonemason, its ironic that I would echo Kennedy in saying “tear down that wall.” We are spiritually led. The Holy Spirit leads and guides us into all truth. Does He use teachers? Yes, he often does use them, but He uses those whom He trains and raises up. How the educated class marveled at the unlearned men such as Peter and other fishermen. Where did their knowledge come from? Did Jesus not open up the Scriptures to the disciples on the road to Emmaus? Did not their hearts burn within them? These things have I written unto you concerning them that seduce you. But the anointing which ye have received of him abideth in you, and ye need not that any man teach you: but as the same anointing teacheth you of all things, and is truth, and is no lie, and even as it hath taught you, ye shall abide in him.(1Jn 2:26-27)
Builders of walls, builders of kingdoms, builders of denominations, builders of fires. We have not been called to build walls or kingdoms or fires brothers and sisters. What we learn from the Holy Scriptures by and through the Holy Spirit and teachers He raises up, is not what a theologian would call “hermeneutics,” which is to say the art and the science of studying the Scriptures based on human reasoning. What the Holy Spirit teaches is neither art nor science. “Man cannot know God, he can only know about God………..Man’s reason is a fine instrument and useful within its field. It was not given as an organ by which to know God.” (A.W.Tozer) And so I think it was no mistake that I met this young man around a fire. I have no doubt in my mind that if we had met 500 years ago, it would also be around a fire and he would have given his consent for me to be burned as a heretic. Take this to the bank brothers and sisters, no genuine born again Christian down through the corridors of time, ever burned another human being to death, let alone someone who called himself after the Lord’s name.
Posted in Babylon, bible, Christian, christian blog, christian living, Christianity, Church history, churches, Daily devotional, God's love, Jesus, revival, strange fire, testimony, the crucified life, the deeper life, the gospel, the persectuted church, The presence of God, the remnant, The State of the Chuch and Manifest presence, the state of the church, theology, Uncategorized | 4 Comments »
Let the skies shake
Posted by appolus on September 26, 2023

Your very presence opens up the sky above And your glory cascades down in torrential love The heavens are split asunder and reverberate with thunder And our hearts are full and spill over with magnificent wonder. Oh that the whole world would shake at your presence And be overwhelmed and consumed by Your very essence That dead bones would rise up and life would spring anew The glory of the risen King would surely come into view. We have fallen in the valley, where is our desperation? Every tribe and every tongue and every far off nation Needs to hear the cries of Gods anointed ones From His Royal priesthood, His daughters and His sons Fill us with this breath of life that comes from heaven above Fill us once again oh Lord with your glory and your love Take us to that holy place that's high upon the mountain Where blessings fall like drenching rains from your unending fountain.
Posted in bible, Christian, christian blog, christian living, Christian poetry, Christianity, Devotions, Jesus, poetry, spiritual poetry, testimony, the crucified life, the deeper life, the gospel, the persectuted church, The presence of God, the remnant, The State of the Chuch and Manifest presence, the state of the church, theology, Uncategorized | 1 Comment »
A vision-the journey is everything.
Posted by appolus on September 24, 2023

Many many years ago I had a vision. I was high above the country of America and I could see from east to west. The vast majority were settled in the east and would never dream of venturing into the great unknown. To travel westwards was to risk everything. Yet, slowly but surely some began to leave everything that was established to strike out into the unknown. They banded together for safety and gave up their homes and establishments, their careers and positions for a dream. Many would not make it but all of them were driven forward by forces perhaps they did not fully understand. They were pilgrims, sojourners, travelers.
The first part of their journey was mapped, but soon enough they only had the general heading. They forded rivers and scaled mountains and crossed vast seas of prairie lands that stretched out into infinity. There was storms and baking heat. There was cold and there was snow but still they pushed on. They were often attacked and would circle the wagons. They dealt with wolves and bears and coyotes. Snakes were everywhere but still they traveled on. None of this was the actual westward migration in America, it was the remnant saints I was seeing. They were leaving everything that was established behind and pushing on for a continuing city. They had no place on this earth to call their own. No kingdom to call their own, no town to call their own, no State to call their own. They were travelers.
Every mountain was a part of their sanctification. Every river, every wild animal, every obstacle was the same. In the blazing plains they had to trust for water. In the violent storms and tornado’s, they had to trust that God would keep them. They had a pioneer spirit that was not all that common to man. Yet just like the westward American push, they all come to the Pacific. Will they set up shop there? Surely we can go no further than this? And yet in my vision I saw a boat draw near to the shore. Jesus was the captain and He shouted to those gathered on the shore to come on board. The people on shore had no idea what was beyond the horizon. Surely they had suffered enough just to get here, and now, there was the Lord urging them on, urging them onto the boat to continue the journey, and for most it was simply too much.
So as the few got onto the boat, the rest began to lay down foundations for communities. After a while the boat stopped coming and they could no longer hear the voice of Jesus urging them on. The temporary wagons that had brought them so far were broken down and used in the establishment of fine new buildings. With the journey over and the permanent structures erected, the people grew weak. They no longer had the journey to keep them strong. This place they had established for themselves had very fine weather and they did not have to deal with storms, they grew weaker still and they had no vision. Their reliance upon the Lord waned as His voice became a distant memory, an echo in the wind. They became so weak they withdrew from the coast. Little by little, piece by piece they began to fall back to where they had come from. The things that they had overcame began to overcome them. And in a period of time, they found themselves right back where they came from. Everything they had gained on the journey they had lost. Without the vision of the journey, the people perished.
This was my vision. It was as dramatic as it was scary. The journey is everything. We have no place on this earth to call our own. If we are not moving forwards then we are falling backwards. There is no treading water in the Kingdom of God, there is only the journey that ever lies before us. God has no pleasure in those who fall back. The journey is your Christianity. It is your walk. It is your relationship with Jesus. It does not matter how old you are or how young you are, we are all called to journey down the path that God Himself has forged for us. We do not get to see what is around the next bend, we simply trust. We are called to live each day at a time and not to be anxious for the things the gentiles are anxious for. Sufficient for the day are our troubles and it is Jesus who gives us the strength to get through this day, tomorrow is never guaranteed. Our strength is derived from how we interact with Jesus as we meet the obstacle.
Do not worry about tomorrow brothers and sisters. Keep on the journey, keep on going, keep on following Jesus. Ignore charlatans and false prophets you meet along the way, you will recognize them for they will be selling you something. Do not put your roots down into anything other than the Kingdom of God. One thing about a wagon, its always ready to roll the next day. We must always be ready to roll on, for this is our calling, we journey through this world and the Holy Spirit is our guide. He alone knows the way forward. He alone can lead us and guide us home. Let us never gather moss brothers and sisters in our spiritual homeward journey. It might be rough. It might be tough, but I can guarantee you that it will never be boring. One season there shall be great mountain ranges and another season mighty rivers. There will be the dead of winter and also the magnificent spring flowers. The heat of the summer will feel fine for a while but the Fall colors and coolness will refresh your soul.
The seasons of life will be the mile markers of our journey, and as we grow older and are less physically fit, we grow stronger in the Lord and the power of His might. The seasons will pass with ever increasing speed as we journey onwards. As our time here on earth draws to its close then we shall begin to see glimpses of the journeys end. The end of everything in this world is truly the beginning of everything in the next. He gives us eyes to see such things. Imagine beginning to arrive at the end of your journey. A journey that has perhaps lasted multiple decades. A grand adventure that no power in the heavens or earth could ever persuade you to give up. The perishing outer man is being replaced by a spirit that is renewed daily. Piece by piece we are decreasing but step by step He is increasing. Our grand obsession, Jesus, is all that we want. He is all that we need. We look back down the journey with all its many milestones and we can see how, not one single time, He has let us down. Oh brothers and sisters, let us finish strong the journey that is set before us.
Posted in Babylon, Christian, christian blog, christian living, Christianity, Church history, Daily devotional, Devotions, end times, God's love, intimacy, Jesus, manifest presence, revival, Spiritual warfare, testimony, the crucified life, the deeper life, the gospel, the persectuted church, The presence of God, the remnant, The State of the Chuch and Manifest presence, the state of the church, theology, Uncategorized | 5 Comments »
He whispers above the storm.
Posted by appolus on September 23, 2023
He whispers and it is heard above the raging storm
He sees you shivering in the cold, but His love shall keep you warm
When you are shaken by this life He ever stands immovable
When you are persecuted for His sake He is with you in the crucible
In your afflictions, He is afflicted and He knows your pain
He alone can take the blows and wipe away the stains
He is the repairer of the breach and restorer of your heart
He comes to you when everything is falling apart
Stand and see the redemption of your Lord
As He comes again and in His hand a flaming sword
The grapes of wrath are crushed in the wine-press of His justice
He is our great Immanuel, He is truly God amongst us.
So Lord our God we come to where you are
To a high and lifted rugged cross, our bright and morning star
On bended knee we cry to You and suddenly You are near
Your perfect love surrounds us and it casts our every fear.
Posted in bible, Christian, christian blog, christian living, Christian poetry, Christianity, Daily devotional, Devotions, poetry, spiritual poetry, testimony, the crucified life, the deeper life, the gospel, the persectuted church, The presence of God, The Psalms, the remnant, The State of the Chuch and Manifest presence, the state of the church, theology, Uncategorized | 1 Comment »
Honor your father.
Posted by appolus on September 5, 2023

This was a real challenge to me most of my Christian life. I had no problem honoring my mother, but my father was a whole other story. I could give you twenty substantial reasons why I should not have honored my father. And the world would say “awww,” and agree with me. Yet is it striking that when we are told to honor our fathers and mothers in Scripture there are no parenthesis. We do not find the word “if,” there. It simply states that we must “Honor your father and your mother: that your days may be long upon the land which the LORD your God gives you.”
For most of my Christian life I did not honor my earthly father in my heart. Oftentimes not just in my heart. I challenged him and spoke ill of him from time to time, all the time failing to honor him. It was mostly to my wife or friends or family. I had many good excuses but none that stood against the Word of God. My challenge was to love what I considered to be the unlovable. Is this not exactly what the Lord Jesus has called us to do? If we cannot do it with those closest to us, how can we ever do it with those in the world? How should I react to being hated? Does it make a difference that it is someone your heart longs to be loved by? In the end it only matters what the Lord has instructed us to do. How can we honor our Heavenly Father while we dishonor Him by ignoring His instructions.
And so, over the years before he died I wrote my dad three letters. Each of them falling on the sword. Each of them at the insistence of the Holy Spirit. As I wrote each letter, the flesh raged against it. It screamed “he should be writing you a letter, he should be falling on the sword.” This was because my flesh was not dead in these matters, it roared loudly. And yet, in my spirit, I recognized the flesh for what it was. My flesh longed for justification. My flesh longed to see my father suffer as he had made us suffer. My spirit on the other hand knew that I must be obedient to the Lord and that love and forgiveness was the way. In the writing of the letters I was killing the flesh and my heart was turning towards my father. After I wrote these letters I hated putting them in the envelope. Putting the stamps on them. And worse of all, putting them into the letterbox. Once it dropped down into the box there was no turning back.
I never expected any replies or even acknowledgment’s and none ever came. Yet I felt good in having done the right thing and just left it alone. “I had done my part.” One time as I was speaking to a dear brother he told me of an incident. There was a brother whom had fallen out with him a few years before. The Holy Spirit led him to go and knock on his door and make it right. It was at least a 20 minute drive away but off he went. He knocked on the door, sensing the brother was in, but got no reply. So, he got back in the car and began to drive home. He felt good that he had done the right thing. About half way back the Holy Spirit spoke to him just a few words.”You did not try very hard.” He was very convicted, turned the car around and went back to the door and kept knocking on it until finally the fella answered. He let him in and they “mended the fence.”
Upon hearing that story I was deeply convicted. I too had done the right thing and now the Holy Spirit was saying to me “you did not try very hard.” It was not spoken with any kind of animosity, but in that pure loving way that convicts you to the very depths of your heart. I knew what I had to do. I had to go home to Scotland for a visit and put flesh upon the letter which I had sent. Covid was raging at the time but I overcame all the obstacles and got home. I was able to treat my dad with kindness and pamper him a little, all of which he had a hard time with. Little did I know that when I left that visit two years ago, I would never see him again. It left me wondering about the depths of my flesh and why it had taken so long. How different it could have all been if I had just followed the Lord’s instruction and honored my father.
The Lord has since showed me just how much he loved my dad. Yes, he knew, of course, all of his faults but while he was yet in his sin he loved my dad and He died for him. He loved him all the more when my dad, at the age of 49, came to Him on bended knee. He loved him despite all of his problems of dying to his own flesh. He knew my dad better than anyone on the earth, faults and all, my dads own very rough upbringing, He knew him completely and He loved him still. Even when my dad was not faithful the Lord was faithful to him. And then the Lord showed me. I love you in the same way. I love all of my children in the same way despite their seeming lack of progress. Listen young men especially. If your dad is a Christian and you judge him harshly, if you fail to honor him, it is you who will pay a price. As much as lies within you, honor your father and your mother. Death to the flesh and life to the spirit. One is soaked in mercy, the other is eaten up by judgement. Starve the flesh.
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I was just looking for a river-why I left the Protestant church.
Posted by appolus on September 2, 2023

Just to be clear, when I say “Protestant,” I mean all of it, all denominations and non-denominations. Its not that I think that there are no genuine saints there, there are, in probably all of them. It is just that I was looking for a river to be carry me to the throne, to be engulfed in, and I found, for the most part, semi-dried up creeks. I was born and raised a Catholic in a mostly Irish Catholic community on the West Coast of Scotland. My whole education was Catholic, as it was for all working class Catholics, and it was free. One night my mother came home and announced that she had “found Jesus.” She was one of those “born-agains.” I was seven. My non-practicing alcoholic Catholic father was freaked out by it…… I was fascinated. They talked about God in chapel, but here was my wee mother claiming to actually know Him. I too longed to “know Him.” One thing was for sure, she was changed and she was bold.
All hell broke loose in our house. My father raged against my mother. He seemed to instinctively know that he was no longer “in charge,’ of her. There was something more important to her now than him. So he tried to beat Jesus out of her. In wild drunken nights he would rail against the Jesus that she believed in and that had changed her and won her over so completely. Black eyes and a broken jaw and nights where he almost killed her. And after fifteen years of this, at the age of forty nine, he got down on his knees and repented and gave his life over to the Jesus that he had assaulted and assailed so many times in his proxy war. He never drank again and my mum and dad retook their marriage vows and he was baptized. Such a huge thing for a man, already baptized as an infant who was raised by a staunch Catholic mother (my grannie)
So as you can see, I had saw the battle. I had saw how religion worked. I saw a genuine saint lay down her life for Jesus and be beaten black and blue for His sake. I had a ringside seat to the battle for a mans soul. So when I came to the Lord at the age of 26 I was ready to dive right in. I had only ever witnessed all or nothing. There was no middle ground in the battle of the ages. If I had metaphorically dived in I would have probably broken my neck as the church was only a few inches deep. Yet lets face it, when you had walked for almost two decades in the desert and came upon any kind of water at all, you would rejoice. Maybe not swim, but certainly rejoice. And those few shallow inches seemed so good. I saw other people come into the Pentecostal church from no church backgrounds and from dead denominational backgrounds and they all thought it was wonderful……..for a time.
There was multiple problems for me. I had such a great desire for genuine fellowship and discipleship. I wanted to be “a part,” of what was going on in the Body. Ushering and toilet cleaner or parking attendant was not exactly what I had in mind, yet for the most part, these were the “positions,’ available. Complain about that and you were simply proud. What I had in mind was what I had read about in the Bible. I had read the Word every day with a fierce thirst and hunger since coming to the Lord. As I read about the Body and every part having a function in 1 Cor 12 I wondered why we did not have such a Body. I left one Pentecostal non denominational church for another. I attended a Baptist church for a year. I went to a conservative Bible College. I went to Nazarene church for six months and I also attended IHOP (International house of prayer) for a year. Two of the aforementioned churches I stuck out for eight years and and seven years. I never found the river to swim in, only a trickle in the shadow of a dam (the dam being the Word and the manifest presence)
I saw patterns emerge in all of these churches I attended. In all of them the order of service was pretty much the same. There were variations but all within a popular theme. None of them allowed for the participation of the saints. All of them were tightly controlled by one man. This one man would appoint, for the most part, yes men for elders. In the end I had to think to myself “is this really different from the Catholic church?’ I know that will sound radical to some people, but in the end the Catholic church is all about authority and who wields it, certainly not the poor folks who sit in the pew. And what I had read in the Scriptures was not about authority at all, outside of Jesus and the Holy Spirit. And if Jesus and the Holy Spirit had told us that we were to gather in a certain fashion, I could not for the life of me figure out why this ultimate authority was ignored. I was looking for the river deep, that flowed from the very throne-room of heaven.
And so I left the “organized church,”which was a semi-dried up creek, looking for the freedom of the wild river. I had studied revivals and became involved in the revival ministry. This is where I met folks from all over the world who also had a longing to see, in essence, a 1 Cor 14 gathering where all of the members of the Body operated rather than one or two and the rest sat passively by until it was time to write a check or pull out their wallets. Think about it saints, why would we want to gather in any fashion other than that which the Lord lays down in His Word? Multiple centuries of tradition had transpired and conspired against the simplicity and authenticity of the earliest Church. Its the tragedy of the ages that the Body, with multiple parts, lies unused. Imagine a car without wheels, without gas, set up on blocks where people can only stare at it, for it has not the ability to fire up the engine or go anywhere. It becomes just a dusty heirloom, and we can only read about how it used to run.
I want to name some of my findings from my studies and experiences which may help to explain why there is a just a trickle in the creek as opposed to a mighty flowing river.
.1. The senior pastor. Not Biblical, a made up position.
2. The order of service, pretty much the same in any church. Not Biblical, man made.
3. The sermon that so dominates the “service.” Not Biblical, established by man.
4. The way we “break bread,” together. Not Biblical, established by man.
5. The clergy/laity divide. Not Biblical, established by man.
6. The church building. Not Biblical, established by man.
7. Ordination. Not Biblical, established by men.
8. Where is the “two or three prophets,’ who are to speak to us? (1 Cor 14:29)
10. Where are the two or three who would speak in tongues with interpretation? (1 Cor 14:27)
11. Where are the teachings (plural) and a psalm given or a portion of Scripture? (1 Cor 14:26)
12. Where are the Apostles, prophets, miracles and gifts of healing and varieties of tongues (plural) ( 1 Corinthians chapter 12:27,28)
I want to ask you brothers and sisters. Does the above describe your gathering? How can God bless something that is so far removed from what He Himself laid down in His Word? The church as we have known it is dying. It is devoid of power and passion, and passivity is the order of the day. Let Diotrephes speak and let the rest remain silent. And the rest are quite happy to dwell in a wilful ignorance. I say wilful ignorance because they can read the Word the same as you and me. They want their Moses to speak to God and for Moses to speak to them even if the mountain burst forth with earthquakes and trembling they would fall back from it.
Will you remain silent? Will you remain passive? Will you sit by and not even question the order of service you just sat through? Did that order of service resemble anything you have ever read in the Scriptures? Do you really even care? The Word of God says this is 1 Cor 12 starting at verse 7…..But the manifestation of the Spirit is given to each one for the profit of all. For to one is given the word of wisdom through the Spirit, to another the word of knowledge through the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by the same Spirit, to another the working of miracles, to another prophecies, to another discerning of spirits, to another different kinds of tongues, to another the interpretation of tongues. But one and the same Spirit work all these things, distributing to each one individually as He wills.
Do you see the richness and the depth of what has just been described. Now brothers and sisters, that is a river to swim in. That is no dried up creek. “The manifestation of the Spirit,” starts out the verse. When was the last time the Spirit of God manifested Himself among your gathering, your church, your denomination? I’m not talking about hearing a great sermon from a professional or being delighted with the professional music, I am talking about the manifestation of the Spirit. Notice that every part is “given,” by the Holy Spirit for the edification of all. These Scriptures are describing a masterful orchestra directed by the Holy Spirit Himself. Each part intimately conducted and carried out by the Conductor. It is no one man band, it is no mere trickle in a creek, but rather it is a symphony written by God Himself and it floods our souls and overwhelms our spirits and changes us as it takes us to where it wants to take us. No mere mortal can control it. Do you want to be part of the orchestra or do you want to sit by passively and listen to the tune of a one man band that entertains you for a moment?
Posted in Babylon, bible, Charisma Magazine, Charismatic, Christian, christian blog, christian living, Christianity, church, Church history, churches, consequences of sin, Daily devotional, Devotions, God's voice, Jesus, new wineskins, pentecostal, spiritual growth, Spiritual warfare, testimony, the crucified life, the deeper life, the gospel, the persectuted church, The presence of God, the remnant, The State of the Chuch and Manifest presence, the state of the church, theology, Uncategorized | 19 Comments »
Experiencing the manifest grace of God
Posted by appolus on August 29, 2023

Col 1:6 Which has come to you, as it is in all the world; and bringing forth fruit, as it is also in you, since the day you heard of it, and knew the grace of God in truth:
What had come to them? Faith. Since the day they trusted in God they abounded in grace and in truth and in love. Note that they did not just “hear,” the good news. Many hear the good news. They chose to trust in it and in that moment they “knew,” the grace of God. Hearing and knowing are entirely different. It’s in the “knowing,” that we are transformed. It’s in the knowing that that we experience the manifest reality of His grace. This grace, this unmerited favor that we “know,” we have, changes us from the inside out. So, what is this mysterious “knowing,’ that does not flow from the head but rather from the heart? It is the presence of God that has taken up residence in our hearts and from that place all good things flow.
Imagine a stone thrown into a pond. Concentric circles emanate out until every part of that pond is touched by them. Small unstoppable waves that touch every part of who we are. There is a still, small voice that dwells within the heart of the truly born again that speaks to us and we know “its,’ voice. It is the voice of the Master who has taken up residence in us by the power of the Holy Spirit. He speaks to every part of who we are. He leaves no stone un-turned for He bought us with a price. He purchased us and we now belong to Him.
In Matthew 1:25 we are told that Joseph did not “know,” Mary until after Jesus was born. This prolonged primary verb is to know intimately. The text gives us the context. There is of course a more intimate knowledge to be had with the Lord than there could ever be with a spouse. One is carnal in nature and creates a oneness in the flesh and soul. The other is the combining of two spirits, our spirit with Jesus by the power of the Holy Spirit. This is the source of everything. It is from this place that we are devastated if we sin. It is from this place that “know,” His grace and His love and His mercy and His forgiveness. From here comes all good desires. The desire to follow Him. The desire to want to come into His manifest presence. From this place He opens up a door that leads to heavens throne room where we can come before the throne of God and cry “Abba.”
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For I am anointed.
Posted by appolus on August 28, 2023

He has bound up the brokenhearted and set the captives free. He came from the glories of heaven to proclaim sweet liberty. He opened up the prisons and anointed His very own He opened up a door that would lead to His very throne He has anointed us to preach to the poor and to the wretched, The forgotten and the broken the despised and the rejected He sees all of our afflictions And every heart that's crushed He rends the heavens and comes down And every voice is hushed And trembling hands are raised In the presence of our King And all of heaven praises As the choirs of angels sing And from this place of majesty My heart is flooded deep Overflowing with His glory All I can do is weep. And the tears they fall like rain Watering crops of His salvation And raises up His very own In every generation.
Posted in bible, Christian, christian blog, christian living, Christian poetry, Christianity, poetry, spiritual poetry, the crucified life, the deeper life, the gospel, the persectuted church, The presence of God, the remnant, The State of the Chuch and Manifest presence, the state of the church, theology, Uncategorized | Leave a Comment »
When we let go.
Posted by appolus on August 23, 2023

He picks us up, He wipes our tears His perfect love casts out all fears He strengthens us when we are weak He gives us hope when all seems bleak He leads the way when I am lost, He lifts my eyes up to the cross He fills my heart when I'm depleted, He gives me vision to see Him seated. High above and on His throne He tells me that I'm not alone So take me to Your highest mountains And fill me from inexhaustible fountains Every mountain high and every wide river Every sin and temptation, from them deliver Draw me into your presence sublime Don't move the mountain, give me strength to climb
Posted in bible, christian living, Christian poetry, Christianity, Daily devotional, Devotions, God's love, intimacy, Jesus, poetry, revival, spiritual poetry, testimony, the crucified life, the deeper life, the gospel, The presence of God, the remnant, The State of the Chuch and Manifest presence, the state of the church, Uncategorized | Leave a Comment »
No alarm was sounded-Maui
Posted by appolus on August 23, 2023

Angie and I went to Maul over 20 years ago. It really was an enchanting place. We took a helicopter ride into its deep canyons. We snorkeled in its pristine waters. We drove up to the top of Haleakala which is a dormant volcano that towers 10 thousand feet above the ocean and above the clouds. We stood in awe and watched the gigantic sun sink slowly beneath a flat calm sea just as a sailing ship sailed across its blazing hues of orange, silhouetting itself in black and white and looking like a glorious oil painting. It was easy to see why some people considered this paradise. It was easy to understand why honeymooners from all over the world flocked to this place. Yet one of the highlights of the trip was our visit to Lahaina. It was a glorious Maui night and the sun was setting and we were seated at an outdoor restaurant that was positioned on a boardwalk. As the waters quietly lapped around the piers, I thought about all the sailors over the last few hundred years who had witnessed this very sight.
And so it was with great horror that I witnessed on TV the destruction of Lahaina. It was distressing to find out that no alarm was sounded. What madness? And no water to fight the fire? The man said he did not want to confuse the people therefore he did not sound the alarm and now it is possible that over a thousand people, many of them children, may be dead. So thoroughly burned as to not even leave any DNA. Just ashes in the wind. He would not sound the alarm lest people be upset and confused. Before we rush to judge this man, is not the Church in a similar situation? Are we not assured that there is a great fire coming upon the earth? Do we not know that there is a fire that shall burn for all eternity? Do we sound the alarm? In an age of seeker friendly policies, sounding the alarm is no longer acceptable. To speak about the wages of sin being death is frowned upon. All day long we speak about the gift of God but we have ceased to speak about the wages of sin being death.
The man who refused to sound the alarm has been fired. Yet imagine having this on your conscience? Imagine you had some information or some ability to warn people, to wake them up, to cry out to them that a great fire is coming and that you must flee from the place that you are and make your way to higher ground. We have the information. We have the Word of God. We have the Holy Spirit (if indeed we do have Him) we have everything that we need to warn the people of what is to come, but most of us remain silent. And we typically call it love. Is it love? Or is it simply a lack of boldness, a lack of true and actual love for the people of the world? God knows. God help us though if we have taken our lack of power and our lack of boldness and our fears and we have wrapped them up and presented them as a virtue. It is one thing to be a coward, it is quite another to pretend to be otherwise. The Lord out God would rather we were hot or cold but this awful thing in the middle, this lukewarmness. He said He would vomit it out of His mouth.
Posted in Babylon, bible, Charisma Magazine, Christian, christian blog, christian living, Christian quotes, Christianity, Daily devotional, delusion, Devotions, End Times Eschatology, Jesus, religion, religious, revival, Spiritual warfare, strange fire, testimony, the crucified life, the deeper life, the gospel, the persectuted church, The presence of God, the remnant, The State of the Chuch and Manifest presence, the state of the church, theology, Uncategorized | 2 Comments »
In that High and lofty place.
Posted by appolus on August 21, 2023
Thus says the Lord, will you dwell with me? In a place, in a moment, in a time that's always free Who will ascend the hill of the Lord? Who will stand in this holy place? Those with clean hands and a pure heart Shall gaze upon My face. It is my joy to dwell with the broken and contrite Who have walked the darkest valleys and have travailed all through the night who have endured till the sun rises once again who have suffered and who have overcome the pain. And in this place I revive my very own who have humbly fallen before me who have come before my throne Who have walked with me through fire and flood Who loved not their own lives, who are covered by my Blood Who knew in the depths of their heart they were never alone. Who is this King of glory, mighty in battle? Who bids us come into His glorious tabernacle A place of quiet wonder, a place of majesty A place where all the world ceases to be A place that is vast beyond compare and deeper than the sea A place, a place, where I am surely free A place where He dwells with the contrite and the humble A place where nothing ever causes us to stumble And in the glory I am whole before His nail pierced feet Before His throne, before His glory, weeping at His mercy seat.
Posted in bible, Christian, christian blog, christian living, Christian poetry, Christianity, Jesus, poetry, rapture, spiritual poetry, testimony, the crucified life, the deeper life, the gospel, the persectuted church, The presence of God, the remnant, The State of the Chuch and Manifest presence, the state of the church, theology, Uncategorized | 4 Comments »
Bid me come to thee
Posted by appolus on August 18, 2023

Mat 14:28 And Peter answered him and said, Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water.
Peter sees Jesus walking on the water in the midst of the great storm. Jesus says to them that are on the boat to “be of good cheer, for it is I, do not be afraid.” Just seeing Jesus put their minds at ease. Our hearts are at peace when we “know” that Jesus sees our afflictions. And yet we see Peter, caught up in the presence of God. It is not good enough that he sees him from a distance, he wants to be right where He is, no matter the circumstance, and he is taken up by the Lord’s presence. In the Lord’s presence, when we are captivated by Him, then the roar of the wind dies down. The tumultuous waves that were otherwise so terrifying, cease to present any threat in the manifest presence of God. Nature itself loses all of its power as the water loses its ability to swallow whole those who stand with Jesus.
And we see what happens when Peter takes His eyes off Jesus. Immediately the noise of his present circumstances comes roaring back and would have been deafening. The waves would rise up and reach out to take him under to his watery grave. Nature comes back into its own and Peter begins to sink. Yet Jesus. He is still there even when we have momentarily lost our focus and our faith. He will not let us drown. He is faithful even when we are not. He will catch us. He will come into our boat and suddenly the storm is completely gone. And then all who witnessed this fell down before Jesus and worshiped Him. Brothers and sisters, we are called to come to Jesus. Oftentimes we are so tempted to “batten down the hatches,” yet in many cases this just delays the inevitable sinking of the ship in the great storms of life.
We must come to Jesus and follow Him. Whether out of the boat into the teeth of the storm, or out of the storm back into the boat. Where He is there is peace whether in the eye of the storm or the stilled storm. It is all the same. He is our peace. Where He is there is glory and all things are possible. Perfect peace casts out all fear and only in Jesus can we stand, whether that is upon solid ground or on the water. Let the whole world shake. Let the mountains begin to crumble. Let the seas rise up and roar. Let the skies fall down and the stars fall from the heavens. He still rules and He still reigns. No matter what you are facing today saints, He still reigns sovereign over all that exists. Look to Jesus today. Step out of the boat. Or reach out and take His hand. Or follow Him back into the boat. Wherever He goes, let us follow Him to the ends of the earth and to the gates of eternity. He shall lead us home.
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