For my sister.
Posted by appolus on September 16, 2020
Five years ago, boy how time flies, my sister who was only 52, died. She died on Aug 29th but was not buried for over two weeks, so this week five years ago, she was buried. It was a terrible loss for me personally and for our family. Elaine had an aneurysm at the age of 39. To say the next 13 years was a hell would be no understatement. We often overuse the phrase “we would not wish this upon our worse enemies,’ but in Elaine’s case this was all too true. Yet near the end of her time she came to know Jesus in a quite remarkable way. I still have the old recording on my answerphone the night she called me up to tell me she just gave her life to Jesus. And then again the next day to affirm what she had did the night before.
“Frank, I need you to call me tomorrow, for I gave my life to the Lord. I have forgiven Joe (her ex husband whom she despised) I have asked Jesus to be with me and help me though these days. I am so sorry for all these sins I have committed and I said Lord I need your help, I cannot do it without you. I need you to make me a new person. I just keep crying out to Jesus. I know He is with me. I am fully committed to Him. I want to be healed and become a new person.” The next day she left this message on my phone……..
“Frank, it’s Elaine, I know the Lord is with me. I got up this morning and saw a lovely part of a rainbow (prior to Elaine getting saved, the blinds were literally shut 24 hours a day, she could not stand the light) and it was surrounded by thundery gray skies. The Lord said He would help me every step of the way and I look forward to see what He is going to do.” All of this was said through tears and sobbing. All of this after decades of Elaine hearing the Gospel from my mother, myself and others and she was very stubbornly resistant to it. None of us knew at that time she had less than two years to live, in fact two days after this she had another brain bleed, 13 years after the first one. The Lord’s timing is so impeccable. Thank you Jesus. I wrote this poem below the day that she died and the next one a few months after that.
A poem for my sister
When my heart is overwhelmed
And grief comes flooding in
I lift my eyes to higher ground
Where there is no pain or sin
Yet deep within my heart
Amidst the savage waves
There is a calm repose
That’s with me all my days
I lift my eyes amidst this storm
That’s raging all around
He lifts me up above the waves
To stand on higher ground
And in the light of glory
That pierces every night
I catch a glimpse of majesty
And what a glorious sight
I see my sister dancing there
Amidst the saintly throng
Hands raised in heavenly splendor
And singing a heavenly song
The night has passed, the dawn has broke
There’s no tears to be found
For those who’ve left this world behind
For heavens higher ground.
I wrote this next poem based on the last thing my sister said on this earth. She was lying on her death bed and holding my mum’s hand. She called her mam. She was unconscious but awoke for a moment and said ” mam,” and then slipped away as my mom held her hand. This is quite a Scottish poem so my fellow Scots will probably understand it better. (Whiskey was the name of our cat growing up and chip was our wee dog)
Mam
Take my hand mam
It’s time for me to leave
Why so sad mam
I see those tears upon your sleeve
Don’t cry for me mam
This life has not been good to me
Yet in just a moment’s time
I’ll finally be free
I remember ally bally
And sitting on your knee
I remember Whiteside’s flowers
And being late for tea
I remember summers long ago
And swimming in the dam
Fires on Kilgreggan’s beach
But most of all my mam
I remember daddy kissing you
Me jumping on his back
I remember wee chip standing there
And whiskey getting whacked
I was young them mam, you know
I could never guess what lay ahead of me
Just as well, don’t you think mam
That the future’s something we cannot see
I lie here now I see your face
My hand in yours a warm embrace
He’s coming now, the Lord for me
And with Him forever I will be
Goodbye mam it’s time to go
I loved you always, this you know
Take my hand and lay it down
For I’ve exchanged it for a crown
Close your eyes and think of me
Tighter mam, now can you see?
I’m beautiful, He’s made me whole
He’s replaced everything the locusts stole
Mam, we’ll meet again one day
When you come to the end of the narrow way
And together we’ll dance and praise and sing
The glories of our risen King.
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