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Archive for November 3rd, 2017

Darkened troubled waters

Posted by appolus on November 3, 2017

A neighbor shot himself in the field behind my house on Tuesday. It is profoundly sad and tragic. I spent the the first few days of this week writing a poem about the many struggles that I had prior to becoming a Christian with this particular demon. This man was a good man. He was a Christian. I had spoken to him many times. The last time we spoke he gave me some tiny little crosses that he would hand out to people, he said that he knew I spoke to people and maybe I could give them one. I want you to know today that if you are struggling with this issue, please speak to someone, find someone. I also want to ask folks today to engage people more, even just ask how someone is doing. In a supposedly connected world we have become so disconnected. I pray the Lord’s grace upon his wife and adult children.

I was born with a trembling soul
Intuitively knowing that I’d have to pay the toll
Darkened troubled waters and the wind was in my face
Staying alive was just one perpetual race

Swimming up the river, never ever down
Really,would it be such a big deal just to drown
Just to stop the thrashing and simply to let go
And the darkened troubled waters would take me in its flow

You would see me laugh but you would never see me cry
The trouble with troubled waters is that they dare you to die
Hopes and expectations were for ordinary people
In my darkened troubled waters, hope was truly lethal

Pretending to be normal was the greatest pain of all
It looked like I was walking but it really was a crawl
The darkened troubled waters they were seeping into me
This was the kind of darkness that no one must ever see

It was the bottom of a bottle, sex and then a roach
In no particular order, this was my approach
And all the while the waters rise trying to pull you down
Any light was left receding as the darkness gathered round

Darkened troubled waters and a trembling soul
The man in dark was coming, he was coming for his toll
I looked around and found myself at the bottom of the pit
I looked up and saw no light and knew that this was it

I looked down in horror, no heart no flesh no bone
I looked around in horror, my God I’m all alone
And in that moment I cried  “my God please come to me”
And suddenly there was light “I have come to set you free.”

And so it was and so it is my Father took me by the hand
Upward ever upward out of the pit into the promised land
He set me on the Rock and I looked down, no longer a heart of steel
Within my chest a new heart beat and it could love and it could feel

If you swim in troubled waters and there’s no where left to go
There’s no more fight, you’ve given up and are carried by its flow
There is a hand that reaches down and He will make you whole
For the hand belongs to the Son of God, He’s already paid the toll.

Posted in Christian, christian living, Christian poetry, Christianity, church of scotland, end times, Jesus, pentecostal, poetry, revival, spiritual poetry, the crucified life, the deeper life, the remnant, the state of the church, theology | 2 Comments »