A Call To The Remnant

Scottish Warriors for Christ- http://www.facebook.com/acalltotheremnant

To heal the Broken-hearted

Posted by appolus on November 27, 2011

Eze 36:26 A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh.

Luk 4:18 The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised,

I first considered suicide when I was 12. I had come near the end of the crushing process of the heart. I lived with a father that hated me. For five years he had belittled and humiliated me on a daily basis. I had tried desperately to please him and love him. Yet, in return, I received hatred and contempt. My mom had come to Jesus five years previously and was a wonderful woman. My father was an alcoholic and a very controlling man. When she came home one night and announced she had been saved, all hell broke loose in our house. I had witnessed her being beaten, countless black eyes and even her jaw being broken. I saw her clothes being ripped up, Bibles found and destroyed, the door nailed shut from the inside with six inch nails and because I loved the God of my mother, I found myself on the receiving end of his hatred.

Yet strangely, what seemed to tip me over the edge in my mind, was when he returned from working over-seas. It had been such a peace-ful year. He had gone to Canada to work in the shipyards he was a pipe-fitter to trade. He had been gone for about eight months and had left my mother pregnant. We only knew that he was in Canada, we did not know where and he did not send any money. Our lights had been turned off and eventually my mother found her way to the welfare office. The lady could not understand how anyone would not know where their husband was. My mother knew the name of the company that he worked for and the lady was able to contact the company and shortly after some money came. We had learned to trust God even more in that year, one time having no food at all and my mother said that we would pray. Not an hour later an envelope fell through the letter box with no name or address on it, it had money in it. We found out years later that a sister in Christ was led by the spirit to put her weekly tithe in an envelope and put it through our door, she had no idea of the need.

My father came home shortly after this and just before my mother was due to give birth. He had not been home but a few days and she was beaten and kicked while on the floor. He then took out pictures of a woman he had been sleeping with in Canada. He showed my mom the pictures and even the bed upon which they slept. This for me was the final breaking of my heart. Such a betrayal, such wickedness such a great evil. I grabbed those pictures and I ripped them into a thousand pieces and I ran off into the night just around midnight. It was January , a bitter cold time in Scotland , and it was snowing heavily. There were several inches on snow on the ground. I just kept walking. The snow was so beautiful, it covered all the blackness of our dirty little industrial town. It was virginal and untouched. I wished that it would never melt, I wished that all bad things could be erased and covered by something white and pure. As I walked into the night I decided that I would find a place and just lie down and let the snow cover me, that all the dirt inside of my mind would just be covered by something beautiful and unsoiled.

I slowly climbed a hill until I reached a high spot, called Lyle Hill, that overlooked the town. Not another human in sight. I looked at lights in the windows in the distance and wondered if they were happy homes, if the children in these homes were happy and warm in their beds, I hoped that they were. I lay down. I looked straight up into the sky but could barely see because the snow was falling so heavily. I did not feel the cold, I barely felt anything. The snow began to cover me up. Suddenly I felt afraid, suddenly I had a desire to get up, looking back years later I believe that the Lord saved my life. With everything that was in me, I got up and I made my way home. About four in the morning I knocked on the door of that apartment in the cold tenement building. My mother threw open the door and engulfed me in her arms. She took me into the living room, which was also my parents bedroom, and my father was sitting there smoking a cigarette. He looked up , with a slight smile on his face and said with deep contempt ‘ I knew that you would be back.” The crushing process had found its end.

Cast away from you all your sins by which you have sinned; and make you a new heart and a new spirit; for why will you die, O house of Israel? For I have no delight in the death of him who dies, says the Lord Jehovah. Therefore turn and live. (Eze 18:31-32)


To all the boys who never cried
My heart it weeps for you
Longing for a fathers touch
Slipping slowly out of view

A hand it reached within my chest
And entwined around my heart
With every beat the fingers grew
Until they covered every part

And keys would fumble in the door
What would this dark night bring
And in from the night the tyrant came
The beggars received their king

To bow and scrape, perhaps defuse
To laugh at every joke
Perhaps the tyrant king would sleep
Perhaps we would provoke

With every night the fire dies
Embers of the heart recede
The king is god, he rules supreme
Don’t hurt our mum the children plead

And darkness overcomes the soul
Into the night the children flee
And all around the curtains fall
And when they fall you cannot see

Who will rid us of this endless night
The blackness and the shades of gray
For beneath the pillow held so tight
Is not a place where children play

Why do these tears that belong to you
Fall down from upon my face
For once I dwelt in shadowland
Its now your dwelling place

So if you wander in the night
A night within your heart
The true King sees behind your veil
He sees you play the part

Oh wont you come on bended knee
And find the tears you lost
The true King longs to set you free
And that at any cost

Don’t you long to see the sun
And feel its warm embrace
A heart of flesh and not of steel
And tears upon your face

My God He is the tears you lost
Living waters from above
He restores the broken and the crushed
With Godly tears of love

The true King wept when you could not
He wept to see His Son
And with those tears on Calvary fought
And now the work is done

Come out from amongst the dead He cries
And He will deal with all your fears
For every time you could not cry
My God He shed your tears

And all these tears He’s gathered
And they flow from Heavens throne
And when your swept up in this tide
You’ll know you were not alone

3 Responses to “To heal the Broken-hearted”

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  2. W.E. Smith said

    My dear and precious brother- how I love the Lord for what He has wrought in your life, how He has used all of this madness and mess to make you a blessing to me and so many others. What you have described above is nothing short of hell and all the fiery filth and insanity that it represents. I see it almost daily now, working at the mental health crisis center – precious human beings made in the image of God, so twisted, so tangled, so poisoned. We have might such a light thing of coming to Christ, of this becoming a new creature in Him. We sing happy songs over it and our church street signs cleverly express it as is you were selling hamburgers or mattresses or cheap loans.

    Yet, as you know, IT IS A VIOLENT AND SERIOUS THING, and when a man comes truly to Christ entire worlds collide and the very depths of hell are turned asunder. The angels are watching us here below, with baited breath, for they know what is at stake.

    Consider, my brother the following word from someone who knew about this far more than I –


    “From the time of John the Baptizer until now, the kingdom of heaven has been forcefully advancing, and forceful people have been seizing it. (Matthew 11:12 GW)

    The Kingdom is so much bigger than conversion. Of course, if you are going to be saved at all – I mean saved initially – you will have to mean business for that. You will have to make it a desperate matter, because there will be everything to stop you. But the Kingdom means a very great deal more than merely getting into it, far more than being converted. There is a great deal more in the purpose of God for our lives than we have ever imagined, and if we are to enter into that, violence has to characterize us. We must desperately mean business, and come to the place where we say: “Lord, I am set upon all that Thou dost mean in Christ. I am set upon that, and I am not going to allow other people’s prejudices or suspicions or criticisms to get in the way; I am not going to allow any man-made system to hinder me; I am going right on with Thee for all Thy purpose. I am going to do violence to everything that would get in the way.” It calls for violence, and we have to do a lot of violence to get all that God wills for us.

    Oh, how easily many lives are side-tracked, simply because they are not desperate enough! They are caught in things which limit – things which may be good, that may have something of God in them, but which none the less are limiting things, and do not represent a wide open way to all God’s purpose. The only way for us to come into all that the Lord means – not only into what we have seen but into all that He has purposed – is to be desperate, to be men of violence; to be men who say, “By God’s grace, nothing and no one, however good, is going to stand in my way; I am going on with God.” Have that position with the Lord, and you will find that God meets you on that ground. No men – not even Paul himself – knew all that they were going to know. Paul was constantly getting fuller unveilings of that unto which he was called. He received something fairly strong and rich at the beginning; then, later, he was shown unspeakable things (2 Corinthians 12:4). He was growing in apprehension. But why? Because he was a man of violence. God meets us like that. “With the perverse Thou wilt show Thyself froward” (Psalm 18:26). That, in principle, means that God will be to you what you are to Him. He will mean business if you mean business. There is a vast amount in the Kingdom that we have never suspected. Do believe that? (T. Austin Sparks)”


    Dear brother – we must remember that one single tear wept in true godly repentance and mourning, is enough to douse all the fires of hell! Let us fall to our knees and pray for the lost, for the backslidden, for the rebels among us, who take not the Lord seriously! he is gone away from us dear ones – we are separated from Him, and have grown comfortable with this, like it is OK. Well, read the Song of Solomon and see how this woman pined for her beloved in His absence! Oh how she loved Him and missed Him and wanted to be only with Him again! Oh how serious a thing this is, a mighty thing, a violent thing! Jesus said, when I am taken from my own, then they will fast! Well, is this the case with us? Or are we eating and drinking and being merry in His absence? Rich and in need of nothing?

    Dear ones – If indeed the Lord has brought you to this precious brother’s writings, then please take them seriously. Our Great Lord in His mercy has spared brother Frank, such that he would herald His Life and His Kingdom, and bring forth this pressing word to all of you – HEED HIM, IS ALL I CAN EXHORT TO ALL OF YOU!

    With love, thank you brother for being faithful to our Lord, for standing on His side of things in this hour when so much has gone over to the other side!


    • appolus said

      Ah dear brother, what a great post. And since I know the context of which you write, you yourself doing violence to the kingdom of hell, it means all the more to me. This line is worhty of a poem brother and I will probably steal it with your kind permission…………………… ” one single tear wept in true godly
      repentance and mourning, is enough to douse all the fires of hell!

      Amen and amen. What i neglected to write in the re-telling of the story above was that when I ran out of the house I screamed at the devil to come out and fight. I was so desperate to have it out right there and then, in my childish mind. In that context, this was one of the reasons for the name of my site. Another warrior who inspired me to title the webpage with the word ” warrior,’ was a close family friend whose son was gunned down in the street and left to die by drug dealers.She publicly forgave them, despite the fact that they never faced justice because of lack of evidence. This forgiving is the power of God expressed on the earth. This is true violence against the powers of darkness, this is Jesus , hanging on the cross saying ” Forgive them Father,’ and Stephen being stoned and, empowered by the mighty Holy Spirit, saying ” forgive them.” Yes, certainly, it is worlds colliding, it is the living out of the most revolutionary sermon every preached by Jesus on the mount. Its the revolution against the very flesh that encases us, that the spirit might break free from its mortal tent and soar with the sounds of chains, broken and falling to the earth behind it. God bless you in your own mighty battle brother, for I recognize in you a fellow warrior for Christ……………….brother Frank

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