A Call To The Remnant

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Tears of my Father.

Posted by appolus on August 25, 2008

I have a fifteen year old son Daniel who has Down Syndrome.  One week before Daniel was born,(we did not know we were having a Down Syndrome baby) I came home from church on a Sunday afternoon , full of the Holy Spirit. The Lord whispered in my ear to sit down with a pen and write whatever He put on my heart. I was to write to my Mom and Dad, I had no idea what I was going to write.


I have a fifteen year old son Daniel who has Down Syndrome.  One week before Daniel was born,(we did not know we were having a Down Syndrome baby) I came home from church on a Sunday afternoon , full of the Holy Spirit. The Lord whispered in my ear to sit down with a pen and write whatever He put on my heart. I was to write to my Mom and Dad, I had no idea what I was going to write.

Dear mum and dad

A blessing to you in the name of Jesus. Jesus is the mighty king ,He is the Lion of Judah. There are many voices in this world who would say that He is weak or dead and that we are alone, that is a lie from hell itself. We serve a mighty God who has authority over kings and presidents, over nations and empires. Satan and his mighty demons tremble in the presence of Jesus.

There is not a hair on your head that the Lord does not know. The Lord Himself, in the garden of Gethsemane was tried to His very core, even His closest friends had fallen asleep on Him. And in His agony, in His despair, He cried out to His Father, “Father, take this cup from me”, at that very second we see the Lords humanity, He is so able to understand our situations.

Sometimes we would question ,”why Lord”, but there is always a reason.The lord cried from the cross “my God ,my God, why has thou forsaken me”, at that very point He touched man’s lowest ebb, despair, hell itself. I do not know, but I imagine that this was the hardest moment for our Father as He watched His Son hang from that cross and withdraw His presence.

The Father in His infinite wisdom and mercy and love for us ,sacrificed His Son. Oh the agony the Father felt, but now the perfect wisdom of our Father is shown. There is nothing now His Son does not know, His dying and rising, formed in perfection, is now the hope of mankind. Our Jesus is alive and He knows us inside out. He will never abandon us.

And when our time arrives to come into the very presence of the living God, when we kneel before the precious lamb of God, when we become one with our Lord, then we will know all that the Lord has done for us. It is an honor and a privilege to serve the Lord Jesus Christ. I tremble at the very thought of coming into the presence of Almighty God. We simply can’t imagine, our minds are totally inadequate to realize the Glory of our Lord.
May the Lord strengthen you and fill you with His glory. The victory is already won, let us wait upon the Lord.

Well, two weeks after Daniel was born, this letter arrived back at my house. My mother informed me that this letter was not for her, but was for me. I sat down and read the letter and wept and sobbed to realize that the Almighty God of the universe had not only “sent me a letter”, but that He was sharing His pain as a Father with me.

Not only was He healing me at this point, but my mind snapped back to the time my older son had been very badly burned,third degree burns over 60% of his body, and I had to, as part of the treatment, hold him down in salt baths every day.

He was only two years old at that time and would scream and look at me. His eye’s were saying “why are you doing this to me’, your supposed to be protecting me”. I would have given my very life at this point to spare him from that pain and suffering. It was so traumatic, my hair started falling out. Now all these years later I was being given a little insight into what our Heavenly Father suffered as He watched His Son be rejected and mocked then tortured and nailed to a tree. And then have all the filth of the world put upon Him.

Our minds cannot comprehend the pain our Father suffered. And at any point He could have stopped it, why didn’t He? “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him, shall not perish but gain everlasting life.” (John 3:16)

This is a love that is beyond comprehension. We can feel pain and emotions and horror, one can only imagine what the giver of these emotions can feel. To reject this sacrifice is what separates the saved from the unsaved. This is what we will be judged upon. Not how good we are, or how holy we are, but, have we accepted Jesus as God’s Holy and only way to heaven.

I did find myself asking , “why Lord?” Of course the Lord knows the bigger picture. Can you imagine any Psychologist in the world, looking at two dysfunctional people and saying to himself , “yes, these guys need a mentally handicapped child in their lives.” Yet Daniel, with all his medical problems and challenges is a gift from the treasures of heaven.

God the Father reached into His treasury, pulled out Daniel and said to Himself , “Yes, this is exactly what they need.” So great has been the effect that my unsaved wife, upon seeing a couples marriage in deep trouble, whispered to me , “Its a shame they don’t have a Daniel.” How great is our God, how much higher is His ways than ours?.

13 Responses to “Tears of my Father.”

  1. This was so beautiful…thanks for sharing this, Frank. It is because the Father Himself has comforted you that you are able to comfort others with His love, because you have experienced it firsthand.

  2. appolus said

    Amen sister, we comfort others with the comfort we ourselves have received. May our love for the world be increased! Thanks for dropping by Kathleen……….Frank

  3. pilgrimhen said

    Beautiful. I too have a Daniel with Down syndrome. He is four and God gave us a wonderful gift when He gave us Daniel.

  4. appolus said

    Yes a wonderful gift indeed, and it only gets better:)…..Frank

  5. […] I got a letter from God! […]

  6. hopesome said

    My life in the natural has not been without its traumas which is why I asked the big question WHY: He is still showing me the answer to that why but asked me to give over to him all I was, all I had been, all I hoped to be then he would take me further and deeper into his great heart to show me more of the why. I am still learning, still seeking, but with him and the father not man and the wine of the old me is no more. I also have a son who throughout this time of fasting was tested sorely and kept asking ‘whats going on with mum lord’ He’s still on that journey and so am I but now he knows how much his mother loves him, that when he thought she would die the father brought her back to life in order to say that death had no victory. Another question as a child I used to ask was Lord I wish someone would die and then come back and tell us what its all about and what happens. Well he sure answered that one. My son is now not afraid of the enemy neither am I. I and he know we are in great hands. So are you and yours.

  7. appolus said

    Hi hopesome…..We learn that death has no victory when we discover Jesus. In Jesus we know that our eternal souls are secure(if indeed they are) and that brings us a peace. We know that death from this life is merely a passing on to the one beyond. And all genuine Christians have experienced the presence of God and it is a great joy to know that we go to the Father. Abraham tells the rich man that though one would come back from the dead, they would still not listen. Yet, our regenerated lives should shine out like a beacon to those who dwell in darkness and death and draw them to the light that is in us……………Frank

  8. hopesome said

    I wanted more than a bible based lord

  9. appolus said

    “I wanted more than a bible based lord”

    Not real sure what you mean when you say that. Are you talking about “knowing,” God as opposed to knowing about Him, with that I can agree with you…………Frank

  10. hopesome said

    yes. To be at one with him in thought word and deed. Why because like you I don’t like hurting people and knew that to be at one with him was the only guarantee that I wouldn,t.

  11. appolus said

    Hi hopesome….

    We draw close to the Lord, not so that we will not hurt people, but because we Love Him. We hunger and thirst after the lover of our soul. In order to come into His presence, we must humble ourselves. Once in His presence, we will be addicted to that. One moment before His throne will ruin us for this life. We will begin to lose our earthly desires because they are all pale and beggerly in comparison to His presence. He will fill us in direct proportion to what we empty of ourselves. For instance, if you come to the brazen alter and there discover you have something against someone, first put that right, and then come back and lay it down, this is acceptable to the Lord, this is the offering of Abel………Frank

  12. hopesome said

    I wanted a better world. Not the kind mans lives in. So I came to him dressed in that hope and he asked me to lay down the hope I had and take up his. I obey’d. I have seen much pain and anguish on my journey with his heart and wish to see no more, the price I was willing to pay to reach his great love.. I now know just how much he really loves us and so we walk as one in our agony but also in our hope for the things to come.

  13. appolus said

    To have a true revelation of Calvary is indeed an agonizing experience. It should increase our love for the world, for that was the point of Calvary. It was the highest expression of God’s love. Yet, in His presence is fullness of Joy and we walk in that, not anxious nor fearful nor in pride, but humbly, knowing that we are a servant forgiven a great debt and we do not demand payment from those who owe us…….Frank

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