A Call To The Remnant

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A Broken heart replaced

Posted by appolus on April 25, 2008

These are two poems that speak of my journey form being the child of an alcoholic, to being one myself, to coming to Christ. And the glorious liberty that I found in the day that I called out to Him and He came to me, right where I was in all my sin and filth. I try to decribe the shame and the guilt and the heart of a young child being crushed by a cruel,lost father.

A BROKEN HEART REPLACED

 

These are two poems that speak of my journey form being the child of an alcoholic, to being one myself, to coming to Christ. And the glorious liberty that I found in the day that I called out to Him and He came to me, right where I was in all my sin and filth. I try to decribe the shame and the guilt and the heart of a young child being crushed by a cruel,lost father.

THE PROCESS

My heart is shredded, it lies in pieces
Think, I must think
Here comes the hammer, it cannot miss
The blow, and now I shrink

The shrinking ends , I am no more
One chance to survive, I take it
And now I am no more
Only one choice , I thought, and I took it
And walked on through the door

The blows are coming now
But I feel a little less
Surely my heart grows stronger
Ah, but no caress

I now reside in this world of mine
And the blows keep raining down
Stronger , even stronger now
A smile replaced by a constant frown

My heart, my heart, it is no more
It is completely encased in steel
My God, My God, Oh help me Lord
My God I cannot feel.

I look down in horror
No heart, no flesh , just bone
I look around in horror
My God, I’m all alone

Where is this place I thought I knew
It’s dark, it’s dimly lit
My God, My God, I’m almost at the bottom
Of the bottomless pit.

And in that moment, right where I was
My God He came to me
My son, my son, my son He cried
I have come to set you free.

Oh my God, Oh my Lord
Is it true, can I be free
Oh please dear Jesus, please dear God
Please don’t look on me

My son, my son, you are my son
And I will put you on the Rock
Be quiet now, be quiet son
Shh, do not talk

I have a Son, My only Son
He died upon a tree
He is My Son, He is your Lord
He’s the Rock that will set you free.

And so it was, and so it is
My Father took me in His Hand
Onward , ever upward
Out of the pit, into the Promised land

He set me on the Rock and I looked down
No longer a heart of steel
I could see and I could touch
I had flesh and I could feel

So come to the Rock, come to Christ
And He will set you free
If you will just open your eyes
He will let you see.
———————————-

This next poem is much the same, I would like to include it anyway as it gives a different angle of the same process.

SHADOWS IN THE DARKLAND

Into the shadows of the dark land
Where the roaring lion roams free
Never to return to the world of innocence
This cynical dimension has forever trapped me

For years I wandered in the twilight
Voices of the world echo unclear
This is a place of abandoned desolation
Forever ruled by shame and fear

How is it that these world’s co-exist in time
A child in one, a slave to the other
Surviving daily in a colorless jungle
Yet sentenced forever to continually suffer

A childless child in a demanding world
Longing to return to a different time
To a place of warmth and sweet embrace
Oh to laugh again, how sublime

There were times when I thought I had found the way
I could almost feel the sun on my face
But just at that time, the lion did pounce
And I ran screaming back into that place

And so I walked on, chains pulling me down
Seemingly going nowhere
Yet I was being pulled towards an enormous pit
And I did not have the strength to care

And before I knew it I was falling
Having finally gone over the edge
I was grasping and scraping and calling out
Before I came to a stop on a ledge

I looked down and I could see the bottom
It was the bottom of the bottomless pit
I looked at myself, I was covered in filth
And I said to myself, this is it

I looked up and I could see no light
And I cried out , oh God help me !!!
And in an instant, His Hand came down
And before I knew it I was free

I was out of the pit and standing on the Rock
I could feel the sun on my face
Never again to walk in the shadows of the Dark land
But to live forever in a continual embrace.

2 Responses to “A Broken heart replaced”

  1. auntie ann said

    truely beautiful

  2. appolus said

    Thanks Auntie Ann for your comment. You know the background a wee bit, so you know where I was coming from. Its amazing that the Lord can take that which is not only broken, but shattered into a thousand pieces and then slowly but surely put it back together again. Now that is truly beautiful 🙂 …..Frank

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