A Call To The Remnant

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The River of Life

Posted by appolus on April 2, 2008

This flow must come from the very center of who we are, the most secret parts of us, the secret garden of our hearts, a place that is often times hidden away by the ravages of life. While this is the true source of life, the place that Jesus must reign over, too often is it guarded. Jesus has gone to enormous lengths to free us to be exactly who He wants us to be, yet so many will miss out because the very core of who they are remains veiled and guarded.


Genesis 37:11,18,20 (ASV)
11 And his brethren envied him; but his father kept the saying in mind.
18 And they saw him afar off, and before he came near unto them, they conspired against him to slay him.
20 Come now therefore, and let us slay him, and cast him into one of the pits, and we will say, And evil beast hath devoured him: and we shall see what will become of his dreams.

How many of us know that water is the very source of life? God is often times referred to as water, the life that He gives us is supernatural water. When we receive this water then we never thirst again. There is river that flows from the Holy throne of God. It is the source of all life and it is in this source we must flow.

This flow must come from the very center of who we are, the most secret parts of us, the secret garden of our hearts, a place that is often times hidden away by the ravages of life. While this is the true source of life, the place that Jesus must reign over, too often is it guarded. Jesus has gone to enormous lengths to free us to be exactly who He wants us to be, yet so many will miss out because the very core of who they are remains veiled and guarded.

Each one of us has been given a portion of the river of life. It is to be found at the very center of our hearts. When we discover Jesus, we discover the power to unlock the source of life itself, the river of life. Jesus is the key to unlocking this river and it must begin to flow from the heart of man.

When I was seven years old, my mother gave her heart to Jesus, completely transforming her. My alcoholic father went crazy, I believe he knew instinctively that he was no longer in control of my mother, and that she was in love with another man, albeit Jesus. Our family was plunged into a world of violence and verbal abuse. Since I loved to listen to my mother talk about Jesus and was really drawn to the Lord, I incurred the wrath of my father. I only ever heard my father call me “idiot,” or “hey you.” He would often accuse me of being gay because I would not respond to his taunts or slaps.

He would try to get me to hit him, but I would not. Yet, in the process, my heart was being crushed, he had , in effect, threw me into a pit. In order to deal with the rejection and the pain I eventually sold myself into slavery. My “brothers,” were “hurt,” rejection,” pain,” “bitterness,” and “anger.” My jailers were sex and drugs and alcohol. And the very center of it all, the very core of my heart, the place where only my father had reached into and crushed, Satan had planted a flag, it was a flag of victory and it signified that this was his territory. He had claimed it and occupied it.

Before Jesus came, God’s presence was to be found in what was called “The Holy of Holies.” Behind the curtain, behind the veil, the actual presence of the Lord was to be found. No man or woman could come into this presence and live. The sin in our lives would render us destroyed in the presence of perfection, akin to matter and anti-matter, the two cannot exist side by side.

So why was God the Father behind the veil? Gods heart was broken by the sin of His creation. His longing to be reconciled to His children was a pain that would be impossible to understand. If we are even to get a glimpse of how much pain the Father felt because He loved us so much we have to look to Calvary and the sacrifice of His only begotten Son. At the very height of the agony of Calvary, when Jesus cries out to His Father “Father, why has thou forsaken me?” the Fathers heart is broken in pain, the ultimate sacrifice has been accomplished, there is now nothing that can separate us from the river of life.

The veil, the curtain in the temple was “torn,” and our Fathers heart was torn. And in the pain of sacrifice and agony and love, a love we cannot possibly understand for our minds are too small, the presence of the Lord was released into the world from the very heart of His presence, no longer veiled behind the curtain of separation, but released to flow into a world darkened by separation, by a decision to shut God of by disobedience and sin.

If we are to be a light unto the world then we too must rip the veil of our heart and expose the very core of who we are to the light of the Lord Jesus. Only then can we allow our portion of the river to flow and to begin to heal everything that it touches, starting with ourselves and then reaching out to our families, friends and ultimately the world. This is a challenge that will strike fear into the hearts of many men , for only you know the very intimate source of your pain, but you probably cannot even imagine how many areas of your life it has effected.

A couple of years ago my mother and father came to visit us from Scotland. Now my father came to Christ 19 years ago. I came to Christ 16 years ago. I forgave my father, but there was never any words spoken about it. I do not believe I ever really had a real meaningful conversation with my dad. I still longed for affirmation from him, but it never came. I found my security and worth in Christ Jesus and He has dramatically turned my life around. Yet, in the back of my mind, in the deepest recesses, I guess I still longed to hear some words of affirmation from him.

Now , all these years later, my father, my former tormentor , came to the land that I now lived in, a land where the Lord had prospered me in every way. He was very much older and because of his age and illness, very much a shadow of the man who had caused so much fear and trembling all those years ago. If it were in my heart, I could have belittled this man, but,
“ as for you ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.

One night, after church, I prayed for a young man for a certain issue in his life. I told him that he had to see his situation as a battle and that he had to fight his way through his enemies to gain victory. As I drove home that night, the Lord turned that prayer on me. He showed me that the enemy had planted a flag, right in the center of my heart, signifying that this was his territory. The Lord wanted me to go to battle, break through the lines and remove that flag. He gave me the exact words to say.

I was to go home, find my father in the basement, turn the television of, look him straight in the eye, and tell him I was going to say something and I did not want him to interrupt. Then I was to say to him, “Dad, as far as I am concerned, there s no past between us, only now and the future and I love you so much.”

Now that may sound simple to many of you, yet, this was one of the hardest things that I had ever contemplated. I instinctively said in my mind “that’s not possible,” and out of my mouth came this “It is possible.” I had no idea where the words came from, but it was a rebuke from the Lord from my own mouth. As I drove home, I was involved in a tremendous battle.

Fears and insecurities, fear of rejection , all surrounded my mind. How could I go home and be truly vulnerable to the very man who had crushed me all those many years before? To say that I was terrified would not be an understatement. Yet the Lord urged me on and I knew that if I could be obedient that this would truly be a turning point in my life, the Lord wanted to be the Lord of every part of me, especially the deepest part of me.

I got home, went straight to the basement, trembling, turned the television of and told my dad that I had something to say and I did not want him to interrupt. I told him that as far as I was concerned, there was no past between us, only the present and the future and that I loved him so much. I wept, a forty year old man wept and hugged his dad like a child, my dad wept too and took me in his arms and just held me. Oh how I had longed for this as a child, and here was the Lord putting the pieces back together all these years later because I trusted the small still voice.

If there is someone in your life who has hurt you, or disappointed you, if there is a root then the word tells us to “peruse peace,” and not to “fall short of the grace of God.” This root will “cause trouble,” and “defile you.” Open up your heart to Him. Ask Him to try you and see if their is anything that is causing you to fall short of the grace of God. The root of your trouble may be very legitimate, you may have been wronged and wounded. Do not wait on the other person.

Maybe its a brother or a sister, Mother of Father, perhaps a grown child. Maybe its been years since you have spoken and the pain has been covered up by distance and time. The time is now to break the power of past hurts, and until it broken, it has the power to control you and cause you pain and cause you to fall short of Gods grace.

Make the call, reach out to that person. I understand the potential is there for great pain, for more suffering, but I also know that the power of God is at work when we trust in Him and follow His word.

We are more than conquerors in Christ Jesus. Even if ten thousand come against us, we will slay them all by the power and victory of Christ Jesus. That night I spoke to my father, I slew the enemies that had came against me, I reached the center of my heart and I took the enemies flag, uprooted it, broke it in two over my knee and threw it to the ground. I had, by the power of the Spirit, reclaimed this territory for the glory of God. May His marvelous name be praised.

I am not sure what it is that may lie at the center of your heart, but I know that the Lord desires to rule and reign over all of you, nothing held back that He may put into operation, the full victory of Calvary. When He cried out “It is finished,” then down came the veil, and out poured the presence of God Himself into this world, the river of life that flows and heals everything that it touches.

Open up your heart today, let the Lord lead you in healing the most secret parts of your heart and today life will flow through you, waters of life that will quench your deepest thirst and touch all that is in your life.

Brothers and sisters, take back that which is yours, break the power of the enemy in your life. And your weapon? ………………………….LOVE…….Jesus is LOVE!!!!

2 Responses to “The River of Life”

  1. faithwalk said

    Frank, I just wept reading this…

    What a powerful testimony to the redeeming love of Jesus and the Fathers heart that we be reconciled not only with Him, but with one another. Thank you for your honest transparency in which you share your lifes story, with all it’s strugles and victories in Christ Jesus. It and you are truly a blessing!


  2. appolus said

    Thank you for those words Susan. Its a “sore,” thing for people to revisit the “dirty laundry,” of their lives. Skeletons seem to be very comfortable in closets, but skeletons represent death in every culture. Yet, this I know, and I know that you know too, we serve a God that says to these dry bones, “rise up and walk.” He put flesh and blood and sinew on these bones and He breathes life into them. That which was dead is brought to life. Praise the name of Jesus that where there was darkness, there is now light, where the waters were stagnant and rancid, they are now fresh flowing waters that can revive and refresh other. Praise Jesus that we can now comfort others with the same comfort with which we were comforted………….Frank

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